Masking well until you have a meltdown

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Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,124
Location: England

25 Jul 2022, 9:34 am

PassingThrough wrote:
The Japanese, too, suppress everything and then get drunk. There are also cultural reasons, but the suppressed emotions are part of it.

I assume British men can show happiness, disappointment, etc., but generally don't cry or display other emotions that would be seen as weak. Is that correct? I agree that the cultural discouragement from showing weak emotions is bad for men's emotional health.

If you were dating or married to a man who cried as much as women do, would you be okay with it?

Interesting! I didn't know that about the Japanese!

Let me think...British men can show happiness, but it would have to be the air-punching type. The only time they are allowed to cry with happiness is when their favourite sport team wins. Or when their children are born.

Disappointment. It would have to be the angry type of disappointment, throwing things and yelling. Not the 'crying with disappointment' type, unless they are under 10 or so. Even that young, boys are told 'be a brave boy' 'don't cry' etc. Whereas little girls are allowed to cry for any reason.

I think my husband cries half as much as I do. He's fine about showing emotions, but he is a nurse so people expect it. I don't know if he cries at work or with his friends, but as I said, he's a nurse so he's 'allowed' to be emotional. I am glad he shows his emotions. We are an emotional family. We cry, shout, laugh, get scared or angry.

I was brought up by a mother who did not allow me to show any emotion, least of all anger or sadness. If I showed those 'negative' emotions she would get very angry and 'get revenge' on me later somehow.

So I was determined that when I had children, we would show our emotions, and so would they. We talk about emotions and how to deal with them. So I succeeded.

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