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jimmyjazzuk
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15 Jul 2022, 2:43 pm

In court cases defendants are said to show no emotion as if that's proof they don't care and are callous. Is everyone expected to make an excessive display of their emotion to be normal?



Dear_one
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15 Jul 2022, 3:33 pm

jimmyjazzuk wrote:
In court cases defendants are said to show no emotion as if that's proof they don't care and are callous. Is everyone expected to make an excessive display of their emotion to be normal?


It only seems excessive to us. I was rehearsing for a high school play once, and sarcastically over-acted outrageously, in my opinion. The director was finally satisfied.



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15 Jul 2022, 3:46 pm

It's against social rules to show most emotions in public. The only emotion you're allowed to show is positivity when interacting with others. Everybody's got to be calm and cool and clones of each other. Showing your true self (personality) is against the social rules unless it is positive, doesn't attract much attention and is a reasonable social interaction. Negative emotions are a huge no-no and people love to stare or laugh at you if you look any kind of stressed, anxious, impatient, fed up, etc.

So being out in public is draining for me because I have to keep up this constant charade of being a clone of everyone else unless I want to draw attention to myself.


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jimmyjazzuk
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15 Jul 2022, 4:08 pm

Joe90 wrote:
It's against social rules to show most emotions in public. The only emotion you're allowed to show is positivity when interacting with others. Everybody's got to be calm and cool and clones of each other. Showing your true self (personality) is against the social rules unless it is positive, doesn't attract much attention and is a reasonable social interaction. Negative emotions are a huge no-no and people love to stare or laugh at you if you look any kind of stressed, anxious, impatient, fed up, etc.

So being out in public is draining for me because I have to keep up this constant charade of being a clone of everyone else unless I want to draw attention to myself.


Yes I've been stared and laughed at for being fed up



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15 Jul 2022, 4:13 pm

jimmyjazzuk wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
It's against social rules to show most emotions in public. The only emotion you're allowed to show is positivity when interacting with others. Everybody's got to be calm and cool and clones of each other. Showing your true self (personality) is against the social rules unless it is positive, doesn't attract much attention and is a reasonable social interaction. Negative emotions are a huge no-no and people love to stare or laugh at you if you look any kind of stressed, anxious, impatient, fed up, etc.

So being out in public is draining for me because I have to keep up this constant charade of being a clone of everyone else unless I want to draw attention to myself.


Yes I've been stared and laughed at for being fed up


Most Aspies here believe that showing emotion in public is what people like but in my experience the best way to go out in public without being stared at is to show as little emotion as possible. People seem to take it personally if you look fed up, or they get scared of you if you look pissed off and they'll stare if your face looks depressed.
Due to ADHD my mind is always chattering away and sometimes I make facial expressions that fit whatever my mind is chattering about, and when you're on your own this attracts unwanted attention. So I have to remember to keep my face neutral at all times and be like everyone else on the outside.

Being around people you know, like at work, is easier because you're allowed to show emotion more. People will either take no notice or if they care about you they'll ask if you're all right and you can chat.
Dealing with strangers is a whole different story and is so exhausting to please a thousand people you don't know or care to know.


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15 Jul 2022, 5:04 pm

We are more likely to be considered to be exhibiting unreasonable emotions. I drove a friend to the airport once, and there was an unpredictable delay. When she got majorly upset over missing her flight, a half-dozen people just got busy getting her onto the next one. When I got upset over an illegal eviction, I wound up a thousand miles away before I felt safe.



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15 Jul 2022, 6:51 pm

The ability to express emotions can really vary from person to person and from moment to moment. This is very true in Autism. As the court systems are becoming more aware of Autism, they are understanding that the lack of emotional expression meaning whatever they thought it meant, does not apply to us.


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16 Jul 2022, 4:03 pm

jimmyjazzuk wrote:
In court cases defendants are said to show no emotion as if that's proof they don't care and are callous.

I wouldn't take it as proof of anything other than being emotionally drained after a long, excruciating trial.


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