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TB_TB_TB_TB_TB_TB
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26 Jul 2022, 2:26 pm

Autistic & Autistic
Autistic & ADHD
Autistic & BPD
Autistic & NT
Autistic & ?



Twilightprincess
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26 Jul 2022, 2:29 pm

It depends on the individuals. We’re all different no matter what our neurodiversity (or lack thereof) entails.


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rse92
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26 Jul 2022, 2:32 pm

I’m told you are not a troll.

You’ve started three threads which you will participate in very little if at all in the last 12 minutes.



Fnord
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26 Jul 2022, 2:32 pm

Like Twilightprincess says, it depends on the individuals involved.  People are not collections of data points to be run through an algorithm; people are conscious beings with their own thoughts, emotions, drives, and ambitions.



TB_TB_TB_TB_TB_TB
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26 Jul 2022, 3:35 pm

rse92 wrote:
I’m told you are not a troll.

You’ve started three threads which you will participate in very little if at all in the last 12 minutes.


@rse92

Whoever said I'm not a troll is correct.



Joe90
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26 Jul 2022, 3:41 pm

What about autistic and downs syndrome? I know an autistic guy who's dating a non-autistic girl with downs. The downs girl has been bullied and rejected and called "ugly" by NT guys, and she's thrilled to actually have a guy that loves her for who she is. He's had the same poor treatment from NTs too.


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Diagnosed with mild ASD but I don't identify as autistic


orbweaver
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28 Jul 2022, 4:41 pm

I'm ASD and ADHD and with someone who has both ADHD and CP. We actually have fairly similar narratives around midline crossing, processing, dyspraxia/motor type issues, bullying in school because of being gifted but also bullying in school because of being perceived as intellectually challenged, etc. The big difference between our presentation is that he outgrew his social awkwardness and I didn't outgrow as much of mine. I have social and speech/communication deficits related to my differences and he does not, I have shutdowns/I go mute sometimes and he doesn't, and I have narrow interests and he does not, and I have more sensory sensitivity and processing issues than he does, and I stim and he doesn't. Otherwise we actually have a lot of overlap in our presentation and we have more in common in our earlier experiences and challenges, than we don't.

I notice in my mixed-neuro social spaces (that is, every social space I'm in) that it's the extroverted ADHD people who act like the social "glue." The ADHD people who are most likely to be the organizers and risk takers and often leaders, the ADHD people who seem to be able to act as go-between between the autistic and neurotypical members of the space. My own partner certainly is the social "face" of our relationship.

We balance each other very well, but do not have the "long and intense conversation about 1 thing for 6 hours" energy. For that, I have my (autistic) best friend, who has some of the same interests as me.


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Benjamin the Donkey
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28 Jul 2022, 11:13 pm

It depends on the individual people. I'm autistic / ADHD and my partner is ADHD / just plain eccentric. We go well together.


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rdos
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29 Jul 2022, 3:16 am

It doesn't so much depend on the individual or which labels they have, nor on if interests are shared or not. It mostly is related to the ND courtship & relationship preferences, which some NDs have and other NDs lack. Some NTs might have them too.

Another factor is the actual use of "dating" method. If two people with ND relationship preferences use ordinary dating, they can still have poor results.



fiber bundle
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04 Aug 2022, 1:31 pm

Quote:
Autistic & BPD
From anecdotes I've heard regarding this pairing, absolutely not.



Benjamin the Donkey
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04 Aug 2022, 9:37 pm

fiber bundle wrote:
Quote:
Autistic & BPD
From anecdotes I've heard regarding this pairing, absolutely not.

From my experience with BPD people, I don't think I'd last a week in a relationship with one.


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iggyshiggy
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05 Aug 2022, 12:45 am

A4A is all fun and games until one of you gets obsessed with something the other person has no interest in and you just sit there and talk their ear off and drive them to the point of actual insanity



Muse933277
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05 Aug 2022, 12:01 pm

In my opinion, and this is going to be quite controversial, autistic men, particularly those who are more impacted, should generally stay away from conventional attractive girls who like to drink, party, hookup, etc... I'm not saying this to be mean or talk crap about autistic people, I'm saying this because generally speaking, we tend to date people who are similar to us and autistic men who are more impacted by their diagnosis aren't realistically going to date really attractive "conventionally normal" girls.

Of course this doesn't apply to all people with autism. If you're neurotypical passing, are above average attractive, and reasonably intelligent, then you probably have a better chance of dating conventionally attractive people and this is especially true if you're a woman since generally speaking, autistic women are less impacted in the dating market. Kaelynn from Love On The Spectrum is a really good example; she's a young attractive woman who's reasonably smart and could easily pass for a neurotypical, and i'm sure finding handsome guys who want to date/sleep with her isn't that difficult. I'll send a video.






Your best shot of finding love is to "stick to your lane" and date someone who is similar to you. If you're a fat neckbeard that no lives video games all day, dating a 10/10 former sorority girl is probably a pipe dream.