There are autistic people who can guess what you are thinkin

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Najash
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31 Jul 2022, 2:28 pm

If I could go back to the old classifications, I always thought that instead of Asperger's as I was diagnosed 3 years ago, I have PDD NOS because my mentalization is not impaired to guess mental states or feelings of others, and therefore my social skills will be less impaired and also for the fact that I discovered it later in life. Yes I can be socially inappropriate and cross the boundaries of others, be very domineering, or obsessive of people at times, but I can recognize what they need to hear or how others want to be treated. Then it makes a difference whether I do it or not.

I had a history of learning disabilities, my doctor said I apparently had maturational problems and some teachers recommended to my mother that it was best for me to repeat a year.

I meet 2 of 3 legs of the triad.

I know of almost no autistics with this profile, only one who could perform as well or better than me in social skills and was diagnosed with PDD NOS in childhood.



Last edited by Najash on 31 Jul 2022, 3:33 pm, edited 3 times in total.

Joe90
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31 Jul 2022, 3:13 pm

I can read body language and other gestures without having to consciously think. I don't know about when I was a child or not, I think I did but just didn't react in ways that looked like I understood, but that doesn't mean I didn't understand. For example, if a girl friend didn't want to play with me at school and I was insistent on playing with her, it wasn't because I didn't recognise the signs that she didn't want to play with me. I would recognise that right away but would deliberately ignore it, because I really wanted to play with her, maybe because I liked her and was interested, and didn't want to be on my own. But the adults just took one look and said "ah, she doesn't understand when the other children don't want to play with her, it means she's oblivious to their thoughts and feelings, let's label her with Asperger's syndrome."


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babybird
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31 Jul 2022, 4:00 pm

I think you have to predict how people might think as a result of your own actions. I learned at a very young age how to be so that I would save myself from a beating. That's not because I knew what someone was thinking, it was because I knew what that person would do if I said or did anything that would spark their violence.

I don't think you can know what is in someone's mind but you can easily read body language. Children who have been abused learn to read body language very early on as a way of survival. Sometimes they know how to predict that something is afoot just by a change in the way someone else is breathing. So I don't see why autistic children couldn't learn the same or similar things.


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Najash
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31 Jul 2022, 4:12 pm

babybird wrote:
I think you have to predict how people might think as a result of your own actions. I learned at a very young age how to be so that I would save myself from a beating. That's not because I knew what someone was thinking, it was because I knew what that person would do if I said or did anything that would spark their violence.

I don't think you can know what is in someone's mind but you can easily read body language. Children who have been abused learn to read body language very early on as a way of survival. Sometimes they know how to predict that something is afoot just by a change in the way someone else is breathing. So I don't see why autistic children couldn't learn the same or similar things.


Through body language you can tell what someone is thinking of saying or doing in a situation.

You can also decipher what two people are thinking about each other, even if you are not participating in the conversation and are only an observer.

In my case it is because I see patterns of behavior and that tells me what someone might have in their mind at that moment.



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31 Jul 2022, 4:15 pm

babybird wrote:
I think you have to predict how people might think as a result of your own actions. I learned at a very young age how to be so that I would save myself from a beating. That's not because I knew what someone was thinking, it was because I knew what that person would do if I said or did anything that would spark their violence.

I don't think you can know what is in someone's mind but you can easily read body language. Children who have been abused learn to read body language very early on as a way of survival. Sometimes they know how to predict that something is afoot just by a change in the way someone else is breathing. So I don't see why autistic children couldn't learn the same or similar things.



8O

Excellent point!

It’s making me rethink the reasons behind why I’m so aware of subtle changes. I’m probably especially in tune to a person’s breathing or the noise they make when they walk because it helped me to predict anger when I was growing up in a volatile household.


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31 Jul 2022, 4:20 pm

Najash wrote:
babybird wrote:
I think you have to predict how people might think as a result of your own actions. I learned at a very young age how to be so that I would save myself from a beating. That's not because I knew what someone was thinking, it was because I knew what that person would do if I said or did anything that would spark their violence.

I don't think you can know what is in someone's mind but you can easily read body language. Children who have been abused learn to read body language very early on as a way of survival. Sometimes they know how to predict that something is afoot just by a change in the way someone else is breathing. So I don't see why autistic children couldn't learn the same or similar things.


Through body language you can tell what someone is thinking of saying or doing in a situation.

You can also decipher what two people are thinking about each other, even if you are not participating in the conversation and are only an observer.

In my case it is because I see patterns of behavior and that tells me what someone might have in their mind at that moment.


Yeah that's right so you've learned through experience what someone is thinking based on their body language. It's a skill.

I just don't believe that it's correct when people say that autistic people can't pick up on body language. Maybe sometimes you might get it wrong but that's probably true for people in general


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31 Jul 2022, 4:26 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
babybird wrote:
I think you have to predict how people might think as a result of your own actions. I learned at a very young age how to be so that I would save myself from a beating. That's not because I knew what someone was thinking, it was because I knew what that person would do if I said or did anything that would spark their violence.

I don't think you can know what is in someone's mind but you can easily read body language. Children who have been abused learn to read body language very early on as a way of survival. Sometimes they know how to predict that something is afoot just by a change in the way someone else is breathing. So I don't see why autistic children couldn't learn the same or similar things.



8O

Excellent point!

It’s making me rethink the reasons behind why I’m so aware of subtle changes. I’m probably especially in tune to a person’s breathing or the noise they make when they walk because it helped me to predict anger when I was growing up in a volatile household.


Same here


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Najash
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31 Jul 2022, 4:48 pm

babybird wrote:
Najash wrote:
babybird wrote:
I think you have to predict how people might think as a result of your own actions. I learned at a very young age how to be so that I would save myself from a beating. That's not because I knew what someone was thinking, it was because I knew what that person would do if I said or did anything that would spark their violence.

I don't think you can know what is in someone's mind but you can easily read body language. Children who have been abused learn to read body language very early on as a way of survival. Sometimes they know how to predict that something is afoot just by a change in the way someone else is breathing. So I don't see why autistic children couldn't learn the same or similar things.


Through body language you can tell what someone is thinking of saying or doing in a situation.

You can also decipher what two people are thinking about each other, even if you are not participating in the conversation and are only an observer.

In my case it is because I see patterns of behavior and that tells me what someone might have in their mind at that moment.


Yeah that's right so you've learned through experience what someone is thinking based on their body language. It's a skill.

I just don't believe that it's correct when people say that autistic people can't pick up on body language. Maybe sometimes you might get it wrong but that's probably true for people in general


For me it is also incorrect, but there are some autistic people who have less developed mentalization. Maybe in your case you succeeded because it was better to polish strategies to use them to your advantage in a bad environment, and you needed to be prepared for any unforeseen event.

Although I can do more or less well, sometimes I can be intransigent and get into misunderstandings or problems, so I know that this is partly due to the fact that my perception of the consequences of my actions is a little impaired. There is a very thin line, many times I take the risk and I know it will happen but I'm a bit of a fool, and maybe I don't care enough to stop myself.



Najash
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31 Jul 2022, 5:03 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I can read body language and other gestures without having to consciously think. I don't know about when I was a child or not, I think I did but just didn't react in ways that looked like I understood, but that doesn't mean I didn't understand. For example, if a girl friend didn't want to play with me at school and I was insistent on playing with her, it wasn't because I didn't recognise the signs that she didn't want to play with me. I would recognise that right away but would deliberately ignore it, because I really wanted to play with her, maybe because I liked her and was interested, and didn't want to be on my own. But the adults just took one look and said "ah, she doesn't understand when the other children don't want to play with her, it means she's oblivious to their thoughts and feelings, let's label her with Asperger's syndrome."


Yes, that is common. Ignoring someone else's desires because you have it stuck in your head that what you want is more important.

Sometimes I have moments where I say "I just want to share this with you, so you know it too" but it bothers me when they overshadow that moment with another topic.



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31 Jul 2022, 5:07 pm

Najash wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I can read body language and other gestures without having to consciously think. I don't know about when I was a child or not, I think I did but just didn't react in ways that looked like I understood, but that doesn't mean I didn't understand. For example, if a girl friend didn't want to play with me at school and I was insistent on playing with her, it wasn't because I didn't recognise the signs that she didn't want to play with me. I would recognise that right away but would deliberately ignore it, because I really wanted to play with her, maybe because I liked her and was interested, and didn't want to be on my own. But the adults just took one look and said "ah, she doesn't understand when the other children don't want to play with her, it means she's oblivious to their thoughts and feelings, let's label her with Asperger's syndrome."


Yes, that is common. Ignoring someone else's desires because you have it stuck in your head that what you want is more important.


It’s a common childhood behavior. Adults that can recognize the signals should be willing to compromise, wait, or do the activity themselves.


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Najash
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31 Jul 2022, 5:18 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Najash wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
I can read body language and other gestures without having to consciously think. I don't know about when I was a child or not, I think I did but just didn't react in ways that looked like I understood, but that doesn't mean I didn't understand. For example, if a girl friend didn't want to play with me at school and I was insistent on playing with her, it wasn't because I didn't recognise the signs that she didn't want to play with me. I would recognise that right away but would deliberately ignore it, because I really wanted to play with her, maybe because I liked her and was interested, and didn't want to be on my own. But the adults just took one look and said "ah, she doesn't understand when the other children don't want to play with her, it means she's oblivious to their thoughts and feelings, let's label her with Asperger's syndrome."


Yes, that is common. Ignoring someone else's desires because you have it stuck in your head that what you want is more important.


It’s a common childhood behavior. Adults that can recognize the signals should be willing to compromise, wait, or do the activity themselves.


I'm still doing it and I'm almost in my 30's. I don't know if it's a childhood thing.

I don't really care what other people think, not when I was a kid, not as an adult. I don't mind if they pigeonhole me.

Maybe the only thing I've always had a problem with is being told what to do and say.