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Joe90
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05 Aug 2022, 2:04 pm

I had an appointment and was going to meet my boyfriend in a pub after. I'd never been to this particular pub before, and when I went inside I saw my boyfriend sitting outside in the courtyard. There was a crowd of guys sitting around the bar so I walked past them trying to look confident, but I couldn't find the back door, so when the barman asked if I was OK I asked how I get outside into the courtyard. I was literally standing right near the back door, and he pointed to it and said "just there". I tried to be cool about it and said "oh, yeah" in a tone of voice which meant "silly me!" But I felt my face blushing as all the guys at the bar turned around and stared at me.

I felt so embarrassed after that and I got my boyfriend to go in and order me a drink and crisps (potato chips) because I worried I might do something stupid in front of all the guys again.

I bet if nobody was in the pub I probably would have found the door, but because I felt too self-conscious and was focusing too much on not doing anything stupid, well, I did do something stupid. :oops:

Bloody social anxiety. It would help if people didn't turn around and stare at me. Hopefully they didn't laugh and just admired my sexy legs instead.


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klanka
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05 Aug 2022, 2:10 pm

Yes when I was more self conscious or more daydreamy I would make more mistakes.

Try to imagine if you were sitting and someone else couldn't find the door... you'd not think anything of it and go back to your pint.

It's only in school that a mistake like that would lead to humiliation so we expect the same mocking response from adults..but it never comes.



Fnord
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05 Aug 2022, 2:11 pm

Aw, Joe . . . that is not so bad!  And you handled it well, too!

:D



Joe90
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05 Aug 2022, 2:42 pm

Thanks for the reassuring replies. :)

I know I wouldn't judge but I know what a lot of people are like. Aspies often say that they get people whispering and snickering at them just for walking down the street even if they're high-functioning and know they're not doing anything weird, and it makes me wonder what there is to whisper to each other and laugh at really. Same with this situation; people always find something to snicker about and talk about to their friends, so I just feel that they probably had a good old chuckle over my dumbness when I went outside.
Well, at least they done the decent thing and waited until I'd got out of earshot before judging, but even so, I'm going to be dwelling on this for about a week before I'm able to shrug it off.

I'm glad I handled it well though. :) I tried to control the situation by looking like I didn't care. I don't do very well around strangers. I get really socially anxious.


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Fnord
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05 Aug 2022, 2:46 pm

Everybody has those moments, Joe.  Some of those men might have even thought you were being cute!



Joe90
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05 Aug 2022, 2:59 pm

Fnord wrote:
Everybody has those moments, Joe.  Some of those men might have even thought you were being cute!


Well I hope so, being so they seemed middle-aged men. I think women or younger men might have been more judgemental, especially women. I get the worst treatment from women. They probably would have cackled at me right in front of me.


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temp1234
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06 Aug 2022, 12:34 am

I've seen worse. At a cafe a young professionally-dressed woman walked right into a big window, thinking it's an exit, and fell with a very loud noise. Everyone looked at her. She looked visibly embarrassed and panicky, quickly stood up and ran away. No one laughed. I think yours was a lot milder. And you were poised.



Helen_L
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15 Aug 2022, 1:10 pm

I did something similar at my childrens school. The teacher was standing behind me and I opened the door the wrong way twice. She was snickering while I was doing it instead of helping me.... Good times :)