Moderate autism sucks. (Discussion/vent)

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Octomato
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Joined: 12 Aug 2022
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12 Aug 2022, 8:04 pm

I'm having a hard time finding people who have moderate autism I feel like a outcast in my own community I hear about autistic people who are gifted and incredibly talented. I'm over here needing help to sign paper work then because I speak good people discredit me until they see how much help I need and how difficult it is to teach me.
Many communities believe moderate autism doesn't exist and that we should all be squished together it frustrates me we already are squished together in some communities. This doesn't work they say they relate they don't relate I've had someone with Asperger's compare their childhood to mine when I'd bolt into the streets as a teenager and they said they never had those problems. If you don't know that experience why are they saying they relate? That hurts. I'm independent with help so many people in my life treat me like I can't do anything on my own and they don't even notice their doing this until the damage is already done. When they labeled me moderate I felt scared because people in my family was going to treat me worse so I didn't show anyone my diagnosis for a couple months. I ended up having to show them my diagnosis because I needed help with papers. They tried to say not everyone is a "Genius" but it made it worse. I want to do what others people do too and I can't even when I try. My emotions are conflicting. Another struggle is I'm a decent typer I'm good with vocabulary. What people don't see is 90% of the time I've given up on telling people they've misinterpreted what I'm trying to ask and go along with it anyway. Why? because I'm tired and don't know how to improve the communication. I don't know why I'm saying this I guess I want to know other people who have moderate Autism but struggles with the same things I struggle with.



HeroOfHyrule
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12 Aug 2022, 8:45 pm

I get this. I am relatively articulate and can be independent with help, but because of this people don't get why I struggle with basic things as much as I do and often become very frustrated with me since I need help. I come off "functional" enough that I "should" be able to get by myself, so when that's not the case, and I don't understand or can't do things that other people can, they assume that I'm being difficult or that I just am an idiot. My own brother who also has autism even used to get frustrated because I couldn't do things he could, and would belittle me for it. It makes me mad sometimes since I try very, very hard to be independent and do the things that are hard for me, but sometimes I just can't.


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Pteranomom
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12 Aug 2022, 11:16 pm

My son has moderate autism. I understand where you're coming from. It's definitely a kind of invisible spot. He's verbal, thankfully, but still needs tons of love and support.



Dainichi
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14 Aug 2022, 7:44 pm

If people don't know I'm Autistic, they think I'm not talking to them because I am hostile towards them and they respond in kind, or they think I am nervous because I've done something very bad, or I'm lying to them about something. Either way, any interaction with human beings is detrimental to my future prospects. If they know I'm Autistic, they patronise me and talk to me like I'm a psychopath. Problem is, my autism isn't bad enough to be obvious to people, but bad enough so I can't have a normal conversation either. I'm pretty capable at everything except talking to people, which it turns out is the only important thing. I am smart. I have good education. I have an accent that the locals around here regard as priviledged. People don't understand how I could have a disability. The ability to interact with people and navigate relationships is taken for granted. Having to talk to people causes me visible distress, because I know they're gonna misinterpret what I say and am afraid of the consequences of that. That acts like a self fulfilling prophecy, because they think i'm distressed about the thing they've asked me about, whatever that may be and make all kinds of value judgements about that, rather than the fact that I'm just having to talk, period. I think I know where you're coming from, but at the risk of that annoying you, you decide.



Najash
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14 Aug 2022, 9:42 pm

Oh, if you knew me. I can take an hour to send a decent audio, I often get lost in the order of my words and sometimes they lose their meaning in my head so I have to repeat them out loud. I can be slow to process what I hear or see, so it's common to give awkward pauses before responding, I have to read the same thing several times and it takes me a while to read, poor concentration. Anyway. Apparently I have Asperger's but I still carry over learning disabilities from childhood that leave me as someone independent with help, I really think I'm a step below, maybe on the moderate spectrum. Sometimes some of these things get better with patience but then they go back to where they were.