Do you feel your body is a mere meat bag?

Page 5 of 5 [ 74 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5

HeroOfHyrule
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2020
Age: 21
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 9,217

21 Aug 2022, 9:33 pm

StrayCat81 wrote:
Ehh, that is sad and also relatable. What I found useful is to not internalize that disconnect.

When I was a kid I got a bit disconnected too, because I just did not feel I have autonomy over myself. It felt like parents and even other adults can do whatever they want with me and I have very limited way of protecting myself. This was quite traumatic for me. But the more freedom and autonomy I got, the more I started reconnecting to it, especially since I started to have time to find more ways to enjoy it!

I've learned to sort of cope with it over time, so now I often don't even notice that I'm dissociating, but it still messes with my ability to be "present" and process what I'm experiencing and feeling.

My childhood was also pretty unstable overall, though when I was 11-12 there were a few particularly traumatic events that happened and it made me start dissociating. More traumatic events happened throughout the years after that and they made the dissociation worse + become almost constant. I haven't really figured out how to reduce or stop it, and I unfortunately feel like it's permanent at this point.



TenMinutes
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,746

21 Aug 2022, 9:49 pm

If I could design it from scratch it'd be totally different. There's lots to dislike. On the other hand, I am unreasonably healthy, way stronger than necessary or deserved, and I've been a hottie at times in my life. I'm fascinated with its complexity and love learning what makes it tick. I love learning about fitness and nutrition, and bettering myself with effort and diet. It's life support for my brain, which I consider a considerable asset. As I am out and about I am consciously aware how wonderful it is to be self-portable, and even durable and reasonably speedy. Self-healing is fascinating, as well as functioning beyond spec.

Some functionality still in beta, lol.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 109,167
Location: On a special base where the Christmas soldiers of the world live

21 Aug 2022, 9:51 pm

My body feels more like a pork bag with extra fat.


_________________
Oberfeldwebel

Age: 48
Gender: Non-Binary
Pronouns: He/Him/His
IQ: 86 and I use all 86 of them.


Twilightprincess
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 28 Sep 2016
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,864
Location: Small Town From Hell

21 Aug 2022, 9:52 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
StrayCat81 wrote:
Ehh, that is sad and also relatable. What I found useful is to not internalize that disconnect.

When I was a kid I got a bit disconnected too, because I just did not feel I have autonomy over myself. It felt like parents and even other adults can do whatever they want with me and I have very limited way of protecting myself. This was quite traumatic for me. But the more freedom and autonomy I got, the more I started reconnecting to it, especially since I started to have time to find more ways to enjoy it!

I've learned to sort of cope with it over time, so now I often don't even notice that I'm dissociating, but it still messes with my ability to be "present" and process what I'm experiencing and feeling.

My childhood was also pretty unstable overall, though when I was 11-12 there were a few particularly traumatic events that happened and it made me start dissociating. More traumatic events happened throughout the years after that and they made the dissociation worse + become almost constant. I haven't really figured out how to reduce or stop it, and I unfortunately feel like it's permanent at this point.

I can relate to a lot of this. I have trouble being present, too.


_________________
Away.


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 109,167
Location: On a special base where the Christmas soldiers of the world live

21 Aug 2022, 9:59 pm

Add 10 bags of spätzle and I would make a great feast.


_________________
Oberfeldwebel

Age: 48
Gender: Non-Binary
Pronouns: He/Him/His
IQ: 86 and I use all 86 of them.


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 50,912

21 Aug 2022, 10:01 pm

babybird wrote:
I thought it was to do with me having DID. I can actually feel sympathy for it because I've put it through hell and disconnected from it to the point where I'm watching it get abused. Also I put it through hell to make it look as good as possible so I can sell it.

It's a bit sad I suppose.

I am seeking therapy for this.


According to my psychologist / psychiatrist I don't have DID even though I feel dissociated / third person at times. I remember feeling detached or "not integrated" even when I was about three years old. One of my earliest memories was when I pictured God making humans on an assembly line and forgetting to connect my body / brain properly. I felt like I wasn't made like other kids because I was so cerebral and I identified "me" as my brain rather than my body (of course I didn't have that vernacular).

To the best of my knowledge I didn't experience trauma prior to that age or those feelings. I suffered significant emotional and physical trauma later in my life but overall I don't think the feeling is any more profound than it was when I was three. I think if anything I'm more at peace with it now, because I understand what's going on (e.g., ASD and other comorbids, having no gender in my mind, feeling free of physical constraints).

My best therapy so far was OT, where I learned to read my body signals like hunger, fatigue, and emotions with more clarity. I've tried to get help with my trauma therapist but even though they help with cognition and physical flashbacks I don't feel any more integrated than when I was young.



StrayCat81
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

Joined: 24 Jul 2021
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 214
Location: Wellington, New Zealand

21 Aug 2022, 10:05 pm

HeroOfHyrule wrote:
I haven't really figured out how to reduce or stop it, and I unfortunately feel like it's permanent at this point.

For me, first step was to make myself safe from things that caused trauma in the first place.



Radish
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 May 2022
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,679
Location: UK

24 Aug 2022, 1:18 pm

I've always been aware that my body is somewhere that "I" live. It isn't me. The face in the mirror has changed over the years, but again, it isn't "me", never has been. I also grew to be aware that I'm also not my personality, memories, thoughts or emotions - I'm just an observer of those. Maybe this is what propelled me into Buddhism and I'm now a practicing Zen Buddhist.


_________________
This space intentionally left blank.


FonzBendtsen
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 11 Oct 2022
Gender: Male
Posts: 2

11 Oct 2022, 5:45 am

When we find ourselves in a world of constant evaluation, we have no choice but to start evaluating ourselves.



FonzBendtsen
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 11 Oct 2022
Gender: Male
Posts: 2

17 Oct 2022, 9:15 am

When we find ourselves in a world of constant evaluation, we have no choice but to start evaluating ourselves.