Are people getting more competitive?

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KitLily
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14 Aug 2022, 2:51 am

I remember that 10 or more years ago, I could say something and people would just say, 'oh right', or 'yes', and have a conversation. Now days I can say something and people get competitive.

For example, when I said 'my daughter is really good at Maths,' 10 years ago people would say 'oh that's nice, what does she like about it? Is she thinking of a career in Maths?'

Now days I can say 'my daughter is really good at Maths,' people say 'well my son is good at music!' 'my daughter is good at English!' etc. as if I'm putting their kids down.

It is getting ridiculous. Even a friend I have who doesn't even have children said, 'well Greta Thunberg has changed the world by publicising environmental concerns. That's more impressive.'

This applies to all sorts of things I say, not just my daughter and Maths.

Are people getting more competitive or am I imagining it? It's pretty annoying when I just want to have a conversation and not a competition.


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CockneyRebel
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14 Aug 2022, 3:07 am

I find that as well. If I post anything in News and Current Events or PPR, someone always has to challenge me. I don't even bother going back to the threads that I post in, if they have to do with politics.


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temp1234
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14 Aug 2022, 3:36 am

My experience is that people have always been competitive and hierarchical, not just recently. There are many people that try to one-up you, particularly when they falsely believe that they are higher than you in their imagined hierarchy. Whatever you say will be dismissed/corrected/invalidated by such people. Their mindset is so competitive that you can't have a conversation with them without them competing with you. They are always trying to prove that they are better/superior.



KitLily
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14 Aug 2022, 4:41 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I find that as well. If I post anything in News and Current Events or PPR, someone always has to challenge me. I don't even bother going back to the threads that I post in, if they have to do with politics.


I agree. I just lose interest in endless arguments. I say what I say then move on.

I'm pretty sure it's worse now than it used to be. I expect it's social media where everyone now has a platform to shout about their views instead of just letting their thoughts come and go in their mind without verbalising them.

But it's very annoying in real life when I try and say something about anything and people jump on me. I expect it on social media but real life people are definitely worse than they used to be years ago :roll:


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KitLily
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14 Aug 2022, 4:46 am

temp1234 wrote:
My experience is that people have always been competitive and hierarchical, not just recently. There are many people that try to one-up you, particularly when they falsely believe that they are higher than you in their imagined hierarchy. Whatever you say will be dismissed/corrected/invalidated by such people. Their mindset is so competitive that you can't have a conversation with them without them competing with you. They are always trying to prove that they are better/superior.


Maybe I just didn't notice before or maybe the competitive ones are increasing in number. I suppose there are just millions more humans on Earth than there were when I was young. And the fashion these days is to be a greedy capitalist and that makes people competitive. Following the example of the UK government, but that's another thread.

There just seem to be more competitive people around. My friend with the comment about Greta Thunberg was NEVER like that when we met in our 20s. She has really changed, and so have lots of people I used to know and recently met again.

That's where it's shown up to me the most- people I used to know some years ago were not competitive, but now I meet them decades later, they're suddenly competitive and undermining. It's been quite a shock.


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naturalplastic
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14 Aug 2022, 4:59 am

Seems hard to believe that folks have gotten 'more competitive'.

Folks have gotten more polarized over the recent years. So that explains vitriol on political subjects.

Maybe its context. Maybe you come off as bragging, when years ago you just came off as a mom exchanging info about strengths and weakness of you and other moms kids.

But I have to say...an adult who responds to you by saying something like "look at what Greta Thunberg has done" or "look at how Masala stood up to the Taliban, and won a Nobel Prize" is painting a bullseye upon their own crotch. You could respond by saying -"yeah, look at YOU. A grown up... who hasnt done anything like that either."

Gawd. Who is this person you know who as the gall to talk to you that way?



KitLily
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14 Aug 2022, 8:18 am

naturalplastic wrote:
Seems hard to believe that folks have gotten 'more competitive'.

Folks have gotten more polarized over the recent years. So that explains vitriol on political subjects.

Maybe its context. Maybe you come off as bragging, when years ago you just came off as a mom exchanging info about strengths and weakness of you and other moms kids.

But I have to say...an adult who responds to you by saying something like "look at what Greta Thunberg has done" or "look at how Masala stood up to the Taliban, and won a Nobel Prize" is painting a bullseye upon their own crotch. You could respond by saying -"yeah, look at YOU. A grown up... who hasnt done anything like that either."

Gawd. Who is this person you know who as the gall to talk to you that way?


Maybe it's the polarisation thing indeed. But they do seem more competitive and pushy. They are definitely more Me Me Me. I remember decades ago people would talk about their problems and other people would listen and give advice. Now they say, 'well I'm worse off than you. I've got X, Y and Z problems.' They're even competing over who is worse off. I can't remember that happening in the past.

That's the thing: I haven't changed in saying 'my daughter is good at Maths.' It's literally the same words, in the same context of mums exchanging information about their kids. So what has changed?

And anyway that was just one example. It seems whatever I say now is seen as an insult, people take offence and have to contradict and compete to make themselves feel better. I said to another mum once: 'you look nice in that brown leather jacket.'
She snapped: 'what do you mean? I don't look nice in brown.' And took offence.

Jeez. I can't even give a compliment!

That comment was crazy about Greta Thunberg. What a weird parallel to draw- she dragged an unrelated person into a conversation about families. Usually if parents talk about their children, the required answer is, 'oh that's nice to hear, well done your daughter/son.' Or something similar.

And she was the best friend I had at school! We've been through all sorts together, but when I met her again, she's competitive. Erm...


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