My therapist abandoned me.

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Snowy Owl
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21 Aug 2022, 1:29 pm

I have no idea what happened. We have tried contacting her a few times, but she hasn't responded. It's been 2 months. She always "forgot" to schedule new appointments, and ignored me for weeks at a time, only to say she was "busy". She acts like I'm not important, and dismissed me when I told her all the diagnoses I gave her were wrong. She tried to tell me that she "wasn't like all the other therapists" that betrayed me, but she ignores me for months, and doesn't even bring it up at our sessions. It's been over a year of me going to her, and I haven't seen any progress on the very specific issues I wanted to work on. She also said that therapy wasn't working at one point, and was pressuring me to get medicine, which I already know doesn't work on me.

She was all talk. She always said I was making progress, but I couldn't see any progress. She also made me get an autism diagnosis and now uses it to categorize me and say incorrect things about me.

She wouldn't schedule appointments before I left, but I figured she was busy, and trusted her to schedule more soon. It's impossible to contact her outside of sessions, and she doesn't even seem concerned that we haven't met for months.

I should probably just get a new therapist, but I'm tried of constantly trying new therapists and having it not work out. I thought we would finally meet our goals this time, but I guess I was wrong.



r00tb33r
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21 Aug 2022, 1:49 pm

Yeah I went through a bunch between 17-18. It's always hard to start from the beginning. With most I only lasted one session of me not knowing what to say, and them sitting with a notebook then calling time.

I have no faith that there is any help in that format.


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CockneyRebel
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22 Aug 2022, 3:39 am

Sweet Pea hugs


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rse92
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22 Aug 2022, 4:16 pm

You should consider finding another therapist.

You should also reflect on the fact that the common denominator in all of these situations is you (and/or your family) and ask yourself if you could be handling things differently going forward.

My experience is that many therapists are ill suited to be therapists.



Pteranomom
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23 Aug 2022, 2:24 am

Normally you do not schedule appointments with your therapist, but with your therapist's receptionist/secretary. You should be able to call the receptionist during business hours and just talk to them and schedule an appointment. If you are trying to contact the therapist directly, that is rather unusual. Most therapists do not give out their personal phone numbers. Try looking up the phone number for your therapist's office and calling that number instead.

If your therapist does not have a receptionist who handles scheduling, that is also very unusual and I question whether she is a real therapist at all.



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Snowy Owl
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23 Aug 2022, 7:11 am

Pteranomom wrote:
Normally you do not schedule appointments with your therapist, but with your therapist's receptionist/secretary. You should be able to call the receptionist during business hours and just talk to them and schedule an appointment. If you are trying to contact the therapist directly, that is rather unusual. Most therapists do not give out their personal phone numbers. Try looking up the phone number for your therapist's office and calling that number instead.

If your therapist does not have a receptionist who handles scheduling, that is also very unusual and I question whether she is a real therapist at all.


There used to be a receptionist at her old office, but she switched and now you have to basically call her business number (not her personal number) and that's how you schedule appointments. But I don't even want to schedule more, because I don't really want to continue talking to someone who hasn't reached out in 2 months.
I might get a new therapist at some point, and if I do, I will try to find someone who is more professional. Because this therapist just didn't take things as seriously as me. She also had ADHD, but I don't really see that as an excuse to ignore me for 2 MONTHS!



Summer_Twilight
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23 Aug 2022, 7:33 am

That is awful and there is nothing worse than having a therapist who is not only unsupportive but also irresponsible. Does she have a supervisor who you can voice your concerns with? It sounds like she probably has some personal issues of her own that you're not in control of.

I have had a few bad therapists myself who were not supportive of my situation and would not listen to me instead they wanted to control me and the sessions. I also had a therapist who flaked out me but she let a lot of other people down as well. It was too bad because I thought she did a great job.



kraftiekortie
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23 Aug 2022, 7:48 am

Indeed, I would forget this so-called "therapist," and get a real therapist.

No true therapist behaves like this therapist did.



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27 Aug 2022, 5:24 pm

I'm going to start out stating that I'm in the US, & I actually prefer small independent therapists to ones that are part of a large practice. So to me, independent isn't a red flag at all.

That said, please report this non-responsive therapist to the licensing authorities. Being bad at communication is one thing. Ignoring messages for months is unprofessional. "Firing"/dropping a patient here would require notification from the practitioner.

I haven't had therapist/psychologist issues, but I've had prescribing psychiatrists that... I should've reported. I didn't in my twenties, but now I know better having discussed the issues with other professionals.

You won't be the one hurting them, if that thought creeps in. They brought it upon themselves.



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Snowy Owl
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28 Aug 2022, 11:04 am

Blue_Star wrote:
I'm going to start out stating that I'm in the US, & I actually prefer small independent therapists to ones that are part of a large practice. So to me, independent isn't a red flag at all.

That said, please report this non-responsive therapist to the licensing authorities. Being bad at communication is one thing. Ignoring messages for months is unprofessional. "Firing"/dropping a patient here would require notification from the practitioner.

I haven't had therapist/psychologist issues, but I've had prescribing psychiatrists that... I should've reported. I didn't in my twenties, but now I know better having discussed the issues with other professionals.

You won't be the one hurting them, if that thought creeps in. They brought it upon themselves.



I feel like it's a bad idea to report her, because I feel like she didn't do it on purpose, like maybe it's my mom's fault because maybe the therapist didn't receive her calls or something. Plus if I suggested this to my mom, she would say I was crazy. I already suggested she try again to contact the therapist just to let her know we weren't going to be seeing her anymore due to her ignoring us, but my mom said we should not bother her.
Also I really don't want to end up in a giant legal battle with the therapist, or even worse, she apologizes and manipulates me into coming back. Because she glossed over many of my concerns about her in the past, and I even forgot what I said after I attempted to ask her different things/ basically confront her. Is that a red flag if I forget questions I ask and don't get a clear answer either?

Sorry. I'm just confused, and don't want to let the therapist get away with it, but my mom is in control of this entire situation and it would be pointless to try to get the therapist in trouble at this point. My mom is depressed and already has enough to deal with.



Summer_Twilight
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29 Aug 2022, 1:46 pm

What are you looking for in a therapist? Some therapists are more solution based and those are people who are more interested in focusing on today rather than having you revisit the past. Whereas the narrative based therapist will probably work through the problems with you.