Ask before making out or just do it?

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Noamx
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22 Aug 2022, 10:06 am

Well basically, this time, I'd like to talk to you about making out. There are a few questions that come to mind about this subject:

Should you ask before kissing, or just kiss without saying anything before doing so?

If you normally dont ask before, are there situations where you need to ask sometimes, or that probably never happens?

Should the kiss be long or short, with or without tongue?

And so on.

For me, I usually asked at the beginning of our relationship in the past, before she left me. But after that we started making out frequently without actually asking about it before doing so.


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22 Aug 2022, 10:08 am

You should ask her or just "bust a move".  She will let you know whether or not she appreciates it.


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22 Aug 2022, 10:10 am

I wonder what she'll have to say about this.


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Noamx
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22 Aug 2022, 10:16 am

Fnord wrote:
You should ask her or just "bust a move".  She will let you know whether or not she appreciates it.

The bust a move concept, is there a specific good way to do that, or would you honestly say there arent any official rules?

I remember at some point trying to bring my lips close to hers and I felt like I'm about to die / suicide at that moment, to be honest.


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Fnord
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22 Aug 2022, 10:24 am

Do you want to waste your time discussing it, or do you want to do something about it?


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22 Aug 2022, 10:32 am

Why are you asking us? Do what you want. I don't care.


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Noamx
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22 Aug 2022, 10:33 am

Fnord wrote:
Do you want to waste your time discussing it, or do you want to do something about it?

I do many things about it, but I never felt like discussings these subjects is a waste of time. If thats what you think, why are you here then? You're not here to make me laugh... or atleast I hope so.


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Fnord
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22 Aug 2022, 10:36 am

Noamx wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Do you want to waste your time discussing it, or do you want to do something about it?
I do many things about it, but I never felt like discussings these subjects is a waste of time. If thats what you think, why are you here then? You're not here to make me laugh... or atleast I hope so.
Your original question has been answered twice already.


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22 Aug 2022, 10:43 am

I used to go to nightclubs, when I was drunk I could usually tell when she was going to be open to the idea and I just 'bust a move'. I don't think it ever failed except once. I just become more perceptive when drinking :)
I asked once and she said yes although it seemed like she would've preferred me not to ask.
Now, when talking to women in the daytime in other places I'm sober, so didn't try it, but I don't think it would be a good idea.



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22 Aug 2022, 10:46 am

I would offer to kiss her hand first. If she refuses, then you know she doesn't want to make out.

I, myself, wouldn't get "down and dirty" unless a woman shows, through actions such as taking my hand, rubbing up against me, and kissing me gently, that she wants more than a kiss.



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22 Aug 2022, 11:08 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I would offer to kiss her hand first. If she refuses, then you know she doesn't want to make out.

I, myself, wouldn't get "down and dirty" unless a woman shows, through actions such as taking my hand, rubbing up against me, and kissing me gently, that she wants more than a kiss.


That's very good advice. I think you should follow it.


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22 Aug 2022, 11:08 am

After thinking about it for a while I think the sign was while talking she would just look into my eyes without saying anything, maybe with a seductive look.
I guess its a points based system:
-in a pub or club +5
-talking for more than a couple of sentences with some rapport +3
-looking into your eyes without talking +4
-with a seductive look +6

So any score 12 and above is worth a try.
I went to clubs for about 5 years.

All those other signs that kraftie mentioned are the real overt stuff.



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22 Aug 2022, 11:09 am

I never thought I'd start a Monday talking about sex. I'm open to it, though.


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Noamx
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22 Aug 2022, 11:10 am

Fnord wrote:
Noamx wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Do you want to waste your time discussing it, or do you want to do something about it?
I do many things about it, but I never felt like discussings these subjects is a waste of time. If thats what you think, why are you here then? You're not here to make me laugh... or atleast I hope so.
Your original question has been answered twice already.

I guess so, but I'm not 100% satisfied with the answers I got so far. But lets just make something clear, and that is, there's no such thing as "waste your time discussing" something. If thats what you really think, you wouldnt have that many posts and be that active on the forums, if it was really a waste of time to you. And even if not, it cant ever really truly be a "waste of time" because discussions are almost always fulfilling, allow you to learn something new from it, or its just plain interesting, most of the time. The only time I ever feel like a discussion is a waste of time as you put it, is when some idiot/as*hole comes in and tries to troll / take it off topic, or something of that nature, but thank god there arent many people who are like that on the WrongPlanet forums.


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22 Aug 2022, 11:15 am

I think that you should ask for her consent first. Just busting a move could be taken as rape.


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22 Aug 2022, 11:28 am

Ask. Or you can lean in and let her have the choice of kissing you.

Looking at the best and worst case scenario, the risk of going for a kiss when it's unwanted (and violating boundaries) is far greater than the reward.

Quote:
Should the kiss be long or short, with or without tongue?


Length depends on how both of you are feeling. Imo, no tongue.