Failure to find a girlfriend

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Twilightprincess
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26 Aug 2022, 4:53 pm

Noamx wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
You can ask people out when you already know them, but you should look for signs of interest. If someone doesn’t seem that interested in you, then don’t ask her out. Asking out more women does not increase your chances. Think: quality over quantity.

Are there situations where its worth asking on the street, bus stations, train stations, inside shops, stores, malls, etc.? Or all women would probably think its weird if I tried in these places, and would probably not agree to give her phone number?
It would almost always be weird to ask someone out in these places. The only time it would be appropriate is if “sparks were flying.” I’m uncomfortable/anxious when random guys ask me out.

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Are the chances really higher at workplace / college, or the place isnt necessarily increasing chances?
It’s easier to cultivate friendships and relationships with people that you have stuff in common with.


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Twilightprincess
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26 Aug 2022, 4:54 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Think: quality over quantity.

You can have both:
Image

:wink:


:lol:


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Twilightprincess
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26 Aug 2022, 4:57 pm

Fnord wrote:
Again, it seems women tend to check men out from a distance, and to make their judgements long before a man gets close enough to engage in conversation.

This doesn’t apply to me. Usually, I’m not interested in anyone unless I know him or her well first.


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Fnord
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26 Aug 2022, 4:59 pm

Noamx wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
You can ask people out when you already know them, but you should look for signs of interest. If someone doesn’t seem that interested in you, then don’t ask her out. Asking out more women does not increase your chances. Think: quality over quantity.
Are there situations where its worth asking on the street, bus stations, train stations, inside shops, stores, malls, etc.?  Or all women would probably think its weird if I tried in these places, and would probably not agree to give her phone number?  Are the chances really higher at workplace / college, or the place isnt necessarily increasing chances?
Imagine if some stranger walked up to you, tried to sell you something you neither need nor want, and then asked for your phone number so that the stranger could call you at home and make the same sales pitch again and again and again.

Is that something you would find acceptable?  Would you put up with it?

This is how you likely appear to those women whom you approach -- an intrusive stranger trying to impose his will upon them.


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kraftiekortie
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26 Aug 2022, 5:05 pm

You're not a lost cause----but you should work on yourself to get better.

I have to get better, too. I have a lot that's not perfect about me.



Fnord
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26 Aug 2022, 5:05 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Again, it seems women tend to check men out from a distance, and to make their judgements long before a man gets close enough to engage in conversation.
This doesn’t apply to me. Usually, I’m not interested in anyone unless I know him or her well first.
That makes sense, too.

The results are the same -- a woman expresses her lack of interest in a strange man who suddenly approaches her, asks for a date and/or her phone number, and walks away in frustration.


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Twilightprincess
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26 Aug 2022, 5:07 pm

I think that Noamx believes that the more women he asks out the greater his chances of success will be.

It just doesn’t work like that.

Finding opportunities to meet and get to know new people at social events, classes, clubs, etc. would be a better method because people are expected to engage with each other at such locales.


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kraftiekortie
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26 Aug 2022, 5:08 pm

It happens in the movies-----that a guy approaches a strange woman and gets a date as a result.

But it rarely happens in real life. It's never happened with me.



Twilightprincess
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26 Aug 2022, 5:08 pm

Fnord wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Again, it seems women tend to check men out from a distance, and to make their judgements long before a man gets close enough to engage in conversation.
This doesn’t apply to me. Usually, I’m not interested in anyone unless I know him or her well first.
That makes sense, too.

The results are the same -- a woman expresses her lack of interest in a strange man who suddenly approaches her, asks for a date and/or her phone number, and walks away in frustration.

And the woman walks away feeling uncomfortable/suspicious/creeped-out, especially if he asks her to explain her lack of interest rather than leaving her alone.


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Twilightprincess
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26 Aug 2022, 5:09 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It happens in the movies-----that a guy approaches a strange woman and gets a date as a result.

But it rarely happens in real life. It's never happened with me.

In real life, it would only happen in exceptional situations (which never happened to me either) or in bars.


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r00tb33r
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26 Aug 2022, 5:11 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It happens in the movies-----that a guy approaches a strange woman and gets a date as a result.

But it rarely happens in real life. It's never happened with me.

Strange women make strange relationships.

Could work if you're a fiction writer. :wink:


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r00tb33r
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26 Aug 2022, 5:12 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It happens in the movies-----that a guy approaches a strange woman and gets a date as a result.

But it rarely happens in real life. It's never happened with me.

In real life, it would only happen in exceptional situations (which never happened to me either) or in bars.

Single women in bars are trouble. :shameonyou:


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kraftiekortie
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26 Aug 2022, 5:13 pm

I don't want you to be upset with us.

But you haven't been getting success.....and you're seeking a reason why, and solutions.

I had to make some changes when I was younger. Lots of changes.



Twilightprincess
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26 Aug 2022, 5:14 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It happens in the movies-----that a guy approaches a strange woman and gets a date as a result.

But it rarely happens in real life. It's never happened with me.

In real life, it would only happen in exceptional situations (which never happened to me either) or in bars.

Single women in bars are trouble. :shameonyou:

I wasn’t advocating that people pick up single women in bars!

Bars are not great places to meet people for sex, romance, or friendship.


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IsabellaLinton
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26 Aug 2022, 5:21 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It happens in the movies-----that a guy approaches a strange woman and gets a date as a result.

But it rarely happens in real life. It's never happened with me.

Strange women make strange relationships.

Could work if you're a fiction writer. :wink:



That's how I met my beau.
Truth is stranger than fiction, sometimes.



r00tb33r
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26 Aug 2022, 5:28 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
r00tb33r wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
It happens in the movies-----that a guy approaches a strange woman and gets a date as a result.

But it rarely happens in real life. It's never happened with me.

Strange women make strange relationships.

Could work if you're a fiction writer. :wink:



That's how I met my beau.
Truth is stranger than fiction, sometimes.

Have you seen this movie?
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0420223/

I thought it was great when I saw it years ago... Worth a rewatch, but I don't want to do it alone. *sigh*
I generally intensely dislike Will Ferrell but he somehow worked great in this.


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