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CubsBullsBears
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27 Aug 2022, 4:14 pm

I asked out a girl for the first time. She wanted nothing to do with me, presumably bc of all the behavior problems I had that she had been a witness to for years before then. With 10 years of maturity under my belt, surely things are better now at age 22, right? Right?

FML.


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klanka
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27 Aug 2022, 5:16 pm

you mean youre thinking of asking her out again ten years later?



Twilightprincess
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27 Aug 2022, 5:58 pm

I thought he was referring to meeting women as an adult and hoping that things would go better now.

I think his chances are good. I’m sure many of us would like to forget middle school. :lol:


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cyberdad
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27 Aug 2022, 7:22 pm

CubsBullsBears wrote:
With 10 years of maturity under my belt, surely things are better now at age 22, right? Right?


Only you know this for sure.



CubsBullsBears
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27 Aug 2022, 9:54 pm

klanka wrote:
you mean youre thinking of asking her out again ten years later?
uh, no. My last interaction with her was in 2016. I asked her if she remembered me. She said “yes” and walked away. 3 years after she’s seen me.

I have a hard time with women that didn’t have a bad experience with me.


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nick007
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28 Aug 2022, 10:53 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
I thought he was referring to meeting women as an adult and hoping that things would go better now.

I think his chances are good. I’m sure many of us would like to forget middle school. :lol:
I thought that's what he meant as well when I read it :wink: If I look back on how I was in middle-school or even high-school, I'm very embarrassed :oops: & wish I knew then what I know now.

I'm not sure if OP or any of our chances in general would be any better 10 years later thou. I would need a bit more info to determine that. While I'm sure our baseball fan has made lots or progress with his behavioral issues, the women around his current age of 22 probably have much higher expectations for his behavior than girls did when they were 12. Those of us on the spectrum tend to be behind our NT peers with lots of various things & even if we try hard & make lots of progress, we may stay very behind. Us guys being behind our peers tends to be a major girl repellent. The Aspie guys who have about average social skills, an OK job, & are living in our own place at 22 probably have much higher odds of getting a romantic relationship than the Aspie guys who are a bit behind with all that. Of corse relationships are not determined by odds & there can be plenty of exceptions & other various factors. The best we can do is to try & improve ourselves how we realistically can & try to adapt our approaches for getting & maintaining a relationship so we make better impressions & meet others who might be more accepting & understanding.


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Muse933277
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28 Aug 2022, 1:25 pm

Sometimes expectations don't match reality.

When I was in elementary school, I watched all sorts of high school movies and tv shows and thought I was going to be 6 ft tall, good looking, and have all sorts of girlfriends when I was in high school. It didn't help that my mom, with her flawed logic, believed that boys take after their maternal grandpa's height and since my grandpa was 6 ft tall, that means I would be that tall too. In fact, she was so certain, that she bet my sister $100 I would reach that height by 17 years old.

Of course that never happened. In high school, I was quite short, underweight, and autistic. I was so short that my mom took me to an endocrinologist in 9th grade, only to discover that my growth plates had already closed prematurely, therefore stunting my growth at an earlier age than normal. So much for being a good basketball player... As a result of being short and on the spectrum, I didn't date at all as a teenager. I wanted to, but that wasn't really a realistic option.


College wasn't much better either. I came of age during the "tinder era" and went on Tinder only be ghosted, left on read, and rejected every single time. I talked to girls in my classes, the clubs I joined, but nobody ever seemed to be interested either. And why would they? As a 21 year old man, I had absolutely nothing going for me from a dating market standpoint. I didn't have the good looks, didn't have the personality, I wasn't rich, etc...

It got better as I got older but for the first 25 years of my life, I received zero attention from women. Zero...


Like I said, expectations don't always match reality.



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01 Sep 2022, 12:39 am

10 Years ago today, I was a leftover Mod from the 60s who was obsessed with Swinging London and Carnaby Street.


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