Can anti-age gap people afford to be so picky in dating?

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MaxE
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05 Sep 2022, 2:31 pm

Dox47 wrote:
I've gone 10 years older than me and 15 years younger, strangely the biggest issue for me has been that with gaps that large we don't get each other's references.

The biggest age gap for me where the other person was younger (6.5 years) she called me out when I made some mention of the Vietnam War, pointing out that she was too young to remember that. TBH she was born in the Spring of 1959, I think she would have remembered it to some extent.


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nick007
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05 Sep 2022, 2:40 pm

MaxE wrote:
Dox47 wrote:
I've gone 10 years older than me and 15 years younger, strangely the biggest issue for me has been that with gaps that large we don't get each other's references.

The biggest age gap for me where the other person was younger (6.5 years) she called me out when I made some mention of the Vietnam War, pointing out that she was too young to remember that. TBH she was born in the Spring of 1959, I think she would have remembered it to some extent.
I don't get most references regardless of the person's age; could be a lot younger, a lot older, or the same age. Maybe my SN shoulda been Patric Star cuz I live under a rock that few people even on this forum live under.


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goldfish21
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05 Sep 2022, 3:21 pm

Some people have different criteria for a partner than others. For some, age range is a fixed criteria for them. So, it's very simple, they'd rather be single than date someone outside of the criteria they're attracted to.


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kraftiekortie
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05 Sep 2022, 3:23 pm

I was born in January, 1961. I remember a lot about the Vietnam War.



Jakki
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05 Sep 2022, 3:27 pm

Hey Kraftie ….was borne before that but must admit there is much about Veit Nam ,/ War , I rather try not to recall.
:roll:


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kraftiekortie
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05 Sep 2022, 3:31 pm

It’s true that bad stuff happened during the Vietnam War.



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05 Sep 2022, 11:19 pm

Well in terms of politics it seems that the people who are more against the idea of age gap relationships are people on the 'left' or people who are more progressive, but aren't they being hypocritical or double-standardish in a way? It is that side of politics that is all about embrassing relationships such as interracial relationships and homosexual relationships, transgender relationships, etc... They say they stand for approving of relationships without judging and they welcome all those things, which is good... But then then they say that age gap relationships are wrong? Why are they choosing to judge a certain type of relationship, but at the same time, welcome all other types, and are supposed to be about acceptance and not judging?



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06 Sep 2022, 12:10 am

ironpony wrote:
Well in terms of politics it seems that the people who are more against the idea of age gap relationships are people on the 'left' or people who are more progressive, but aren't they being hypocritical or double-standardish in a way? It is that side of politics that is all about embrassing relationships such as interracial relationships and homosexual relationships, transgender relationships, etc... They say they stand for approving of relationships without judging and they welcome all those things, which is good... But then then they say that age gap relationships are wrong? Why are they choosing to judge a certain type of relationship, but at the same time, welcome all other types, and are supposed to be about acceptance and not judging?

Wut?

There's a left/right divide in age gaps for relationships now? :?

Also, this paragraph seems to be about people judging others' age gap relationships which is entirely a different topic from people opting to have a large age gap relationship themselves. Which are we talking about?

Furthermore, who cares? Either someone's cool with dating someone a lot older/younger than themselves, or they're not, or they have a set age range they'll date, or they don't.. and that's that for each person. So, who cares? :?


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06 Sep 2022, 12:17 am

Oh it's just I mean the discussion to be for the people who have a problem with age gap dating. But I wonder if they shoot themselves in the foot in a sense, for having a problem with it, because it limits their options at least with friends of mine I know. I am not sure if it's a political devide, but it seems to be.



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06 Sep 2022, 12:20 am

...but it's a limit they impose themselves due to what/who they're attracted to and not attracted to so I'm sure they're fine with it.

Personal example:

I think I've hooked up with ~3 or 4 people older than me, ever, out of over 600. I'm completely fine with that. I don't care if that, and other criteria, have limited me from hooking up with thousands of others - they're not who I'm attracted to.

Understand? People like what/who they like and are Okay with not dating who they're not into. Sometimes age is a criteria factor for people. Simple as that.


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ironpony
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06 Sep 2022, 12:26 am

That totally makes sense. I just wonder if people who may judge my relationship for being different, are limiting their own options as a result, if they are being more "close minded", but maybe they are not and just have preferences, and that totally makes sense.



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06 Sep 2022, 12:36 am

ironpony wrote:
That totally makes sense. I just wonder if people who may judge my relationship for being different, are limiting their own options as a result, if they are being more "close minded", but maybe they are not and just have preferences, and that totally makes sense.

There ya go.

Just like if they have other criteria. Like maybe they're only attracted to women and would rather jerk off for life that hookup with a man. Or maybe they only like black hair and would never ever get naked with a redhead. Or maybe they know they like body hair and would never ever hookup with a hairless man/woman. Etc.

Some people have very specific narrow criteria as to what they're attracted to in a partner, and others have nearly no criteria at all. For some people one criteria might be age or age range. It's really that simple.


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nick007
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06 Sep 2022, 7:40 am

ironpony wrote:
Well in terms of politics it seems that the people who are more against the idea of age gap relationships are people on the 'left' or people who are more progressive, but aren't they being hypocritical or double-standardish in a way? It is that side of politics that is all about embrassing relationships such as interracial relationships and homosexual relationships, transgender relationships, etc... They say they stand for approving of relationships without judging and they welcome all those things, which is good... But then then they say that age gap relationships are wrong? Why are they choosing to judge a certain type of relationship, but at the same time, welcome all other types, and are supposed to be about acceptance and not judging?
I've thought about this before & I do agree that some on the left are being a bit hypocritical here by getting hung up on age differences but to be fair LOTS of politicians & various political things are hypocrites & some on the left have a reason to be hypocrites about this. Part of the issue is due to the fact that an older guy is more likely to be controlling a younger woman & using her for sex. Also large age gaps seem to be more common with very traditional people & the left has a tendency to have problems with gender roles & other traditional things partly due to gender roles & other traditional things having history towards sexism & discrimination. I believe that if the relationships works for both people & nobody is getting lied to or being led on or anything, others need to mind their own business & quit their negative accusations & judgements.


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06 Sep 2022, 7:59 am

My only "problem" with age difference....is that should I marry someone 30 years younger than I am, that person would have to take care of me in my old age.

There are no "moral failings" when it comes to "age difference."

I used to have crushes on women twice my age when I was younger. Neither I, nor that person, was a pervert.



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06 Sep 2022, 8:05 am

I don't think that gender identity or age should matter in the dating world.


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06 Sep 2022, 8:08 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
I don't think that gender identity or age should matter in the dating world.

It doesn’t matter to me, but it matters to some. I think that’s okay. We all like what we like.

I think I’m demisexual.


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