Do us autistics attract predators?

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SkinnyElephant
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16 Sep 2022, 4:28 pm

FormerChild wrote:
They've done studies which found that 1 in 10 people are narcissists. But for me it's been like 1 in 2 or 3 in 4. :lol: I would say about 90% of the impactful relationships I've had in my life, have been with toxic people who were grooming me or taking advantage of me in some way. But I think looking back on those relationships, those people didn't groom and take advantage of everyone they knew, or other mutual friends/colleagues. Like others have said, I think we just make easy targets. From what I've read, even at a young age, NTs can detect that something is different about us, which makes them shun us or treat us differently.


Also, from what I've seen, it's not only those who know us well (classmates, coworkers, neighbors). Even total strangers are able to sense something is off with us.



AprilR
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18 Sep 2022, 6:31 am

I def. Seem to attract controlling and overbearing people who want to "protect" me.
And some "delinquent" types which scare me.



aLifeLikeWeeds
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24 Sep 2022, 3:45 pm

I can for sure relate.

From where I am now, I am very thankful for my experiences with these types of people because they sort of force you to acknowledge in what ways you are partly responsible...and provide a great opportunity to work on yourself.

"What unacceptable behaviours did I accept from this person? And why?"

"Why did I ignore and push away those intuitions and gut feelings about this person's true nature? Next time, I'm going to trust myself."

"Now I know what it is that I will accept and will not accept and I can work on developing the skills and the confidence I need to make these boundaries known as needed and to stand up for myself and if needed, reject someone who cannot respect them...with no worries...because I will not overlook my wellbeing for a potential partner."

As you begin to work on the aspects of your life that may have contributed to attracting a manipulative person, you will begin to act in ways as needed that will repel these types of people...or after noticing a trend of a certain type of behavior, you can make a decision to not pursue them any longer.



Nic na Mara
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30 Sep 2022, 2:09 pm

These are the right questions, I'm also asking myself currently.
My alert sound was ringing very early, but I ignored it. Why didn't I trust myself?

its very difficult to overcome the behavior which other people put in you from the childhood.
My father was an Aspie like me, but unfortunately I grow up with my mother and she was a borderline personality.

That's why I can't avoid to fall into the trap of other people who are similar to her. I can recognize the big Ego behind the friendly character, but I'm not strong enough, in order to fight for my rights and make my borders clear.

How can I protect myself of those people? I think, I already know the answer, but in daily practice it's hard work.



CockneyRebel
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30 Sep 2022, 9:21 pm

I think we do attract predators. They see how socially awkward we are and they like that. They get the idea that we won't tell anybody what they do to us.


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