Thinking about asking out a girl - is this a good plan?

Page 1 of 1 [ 12 posts ] 

CosmicFerrets
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 22 May 2022
Gender: Female
Posts: 30
Location: Australia

16 Sep 2022, 3:37 am

Met this girl at my rocketry club who I've been crushing on for months. She is just extremely pretty. I've kind of tried to brush it aside as I wouldn't feel comfortable asking out a girl unless I am certain she's not straight.

Well, I saw a lesbian pride sticker on her laptop so I'm pretty sure she's gay. So I'd like to ask her out.

Her interests are very similar to mine. In fact today I was chatting to her and found out that she was also on the spectrum. Her experience with school and life in general sounded extremely similar to mine.

Since I've got exams I don't want to socialise outside the context of studying right now. So I've arranged to meet up to study together this weekend. She seemed really keen to hang out. I don't know if she would be interested in me in a non-platonic sense though. If she is I would have no clue. I don't even know if she knows I'm gay (although most people do assume I am when they meet me). But I'm intending to ask her out maybe at the end of our study session.

Would this be a weird time and context to do so? Also, we are in the same rocketry subteam and also working on a smaller rocketry project together. And if it doesn't go well I don't want to do anything that could affect our ability to work together.

Anyway. Does this plan sound any good?



r00tb33r
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 May 2016
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,937
Location: Virginia

16 Sep 2022, 3:44 am

It's a great plan to spend time one on one.

In college I got to know people closer by reserving study rooms at the library and inviting to study. It's both a useful exchange of information and casual socializing.


_________________
I've reached the end.


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 109,118
Location: On a special base where the Christmas soldiers of the world live

16 Sep 2022, 1:04 pm

I like the idea of spending time one on one.


_________________
Oberfeldwebel

Age: 48
Gender: Non-Binary
Pronouns: He/Him/His
IQ: 86 and I use all 86 of them.


AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 65,528
Location: Portland, Oregon

17 Sep 2022, 4:24 pm

IMO, this is an excellent plan.


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


CosmicFerrets
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 22 May 2022
Gender: Female
Posts: 30
Location: Australia

18 Sep 2022, 3:27 am

She had to reschedule but we'll do it next weekend instead.

My sister advised me to text her to ask her out afterwards, rather than verbally. This is because it will give her some time to think about it rather than put her on the spot and have her freak out.

I think this makes sense - I have been asked out once before and I hated it because I am incapable of politely rejecting someone without thinking about how to say it beforehand.

However do you think texting also come off as being a bit chicken?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 85,735
Location: Queens, NYC

18 Sep 2022, 6:25 am

I would ask her out in person, since you did so last time.



AnonymousAnonymous
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 65,528
Location: Portland, Oregon

18 Sep 2022, 9:09 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I would ask her out in person, since you did so last time.


I agree.


_________________
Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


IsabellaLinton
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2017
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 50,663

18 Sep 2022, 10:11 pm

I also think you should ask her in person.

Are you sure that she's single (whether gay or not?)
Casual chit chat about relationships could clarify this, and her orientation.



Diverse4Me
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 8 Aug 2022
Age: 47
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 136
Location: Canberra, Australia

22 Sep 2022, 10:23 am

CosmicFerrets wrote:
She had to reschedule but we'll do it next weekend instead.

My sister advised me to text her to ask her out afterwards, rather than verbally. This is because it will give her some time to think about it rather than put her on the spot and have her freak out.

I think this makes sense - I have been asked out once before and I hated it because I am incapable of politely rejecting someone without thinking about how to say it beforehand.

However do you think texting also come off as being a bit chicken?


It makes sense, but I dunno, maybe it is too soon? Guess you'll know more after first hang.

How long will you both be working on the same team though, and how important is that in your life, as opposed to delaying a little longer?

Can also just ask her more casually for coffee or something sometime, gradually increase social hangs, then lower risk of damaging the project/your relationship with her and rest of team, and maybe you'll find out she has this terrible snort of a food laugh and kill off your crush anyhow? Assuming you can be as shallow as me? Actually can't think of anything that might have that effect on me immediately, but I know someone who really heated the way another friend of mine laughed.

Admittedly, you could be in a hall of 500 people, you'd hear this crazy loud laugh, and anyone who knew him would be able to say, oh he's here!


_________________
Drew, occasionally writing @ https://diverse4.me

ASD2, ADHD, Anxiety, Depression etc


Mitchell M.
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 5 Jul 2022
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Posts: 55
Location: United States

22 Sep 2022, 2:41 pm

Good luck, I'm rooting for you! Please keep us updated.



rse92
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

Joined: 14 Oct 2021
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 362
Location: Buffalo, NY

22 Sep 2022, 3:02 pm

What do you mean by asking her out? On a formal date, or just to get a drink or have lunch sometime?



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,765
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

24 Sep 2022, 12:51 am

This sounds like every lesbian stereotype meme and Facebook share ever made. :lol: Where both girls are into each other, hanging out, wondering if the other one is into them, wondering if they’re just hanging out or on a date and then before long they both realize they’re in a relationship together.


She’s a girl in a rocket club with a lesbian sticker on her laptop and is keen to study with the obvious gay girl.. she’s hoping and expecting that you ask her out/make a move.

Have fun. 8)


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.