Telling people I'm autistic when doing voluntary work

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Double Retired
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24 Sep 2022, 9:32 am

KitLily wrote:
Double Retired wrote:
They almost certainly have preconceptions about Autistics. I know I did before I discovered I might be one.

If you are high-functioning enough then you might be able to adjust their preconceptions by eventually casually mentioning that you are Autistic.


That's a good idea!
I think two of my words bear emphasis: "eventually casually".

Unless you have to, I wouldn't lead with Autism. After they get to know you and have concluded you're an OK person even though you have some quirks then, without making a big thing of it or trying to start a conversation, toss in Autism.

The Pandemic has slowed me down on sharing the info. Besides being comfortably retired and mildly Autistic I am also strongly INTJ. I haven't seen the need to crawl out of my COVID bunker much (I like it here!) so I've not seen my friends lately and I'd prefer to tell them in person just so I can see the expressions on their faces.


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jimmy m
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24 Sep 2022, 12:09 pm

Double Retired wrote:
I think two of my words bear emphasis: "eventually casually".

Unless you have to, I wouldn't lead with Autism. After they get to know you and have concluded you're an OK person even though you have some quirks then, without making a big thing of it or trying to start a conversation, toss in Autism.

The Pandemic has slowed me down on sharing the info. Besides being comfortably retired and mildly Autistic I am also strongly INTJ. I haven't seen the need to crawl out of my COVID bunker much (I like it here!) so I've not seen my friends lately and I'd prefer to tell them in person just so I can see the expressions on their faces.


I would agree with this approach. If you are volunteering, you are volunteering. They need you and you can provide a service to them. Go slow and let it work out naturally.


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KitLily
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25 Sep 2022, 3:24 am

cyberdad wrote:
KitLily wrote:
I don't manage social situations at all well, I'm always offending people by accident and never knowing what I did wrong.


Do you catalogue your transgressions? can you prepare yourself to avoid those situations arising a second time?


Maybe. I can't prepare for unexpected things though :( I can prepare for my blood sugar drops by taking food and water with me everywhere and those cause me to get stressed. I might just tell the voluntary place about my hypoglycaemia, that is enough of a problem.


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KitLily
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25 Sep 2022, 3:26 am

Double Retired wrote:
I think two of my words bear emphasis: "eventually casually".

Unless you have to, I wouldn't lead with Autism. After they get to know you and have concluded you're an OK person even though you have some quirks then, without making a big thing of it or trying to start a conversation, toss in Autism.


Very good advice. Eventually casually.

What spooked me about this was one job I worked in. I didn't tell them I had chronic fatigue because it would put them off hiring me. But when I had a chronic fatigue episode they didn't believe me because I hadn't announced it in the first place. :shrug:

It's a vicious circle :roll:


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CockneyRebel
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25 Sep 2022, 5:41 am

I just tell people anyways. I've got nothing to hide.


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Double Retired
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25 Sep 2022, 10:07 am

KitLily wrote:
Double Retired wrote:
I think two of my words bear emphasis: "eventually casually".

Unless you have to, I wouldn't lead with Autism. After they get to know you and have concluded you're an OK person even though you have some quirks then, without making a big thing of it or trying to start a conversation, toss in Autism.


Very good advice. Eventually casually.

What spooked me about this was one job I worked in. I didn't tell them I had chronic fatigue because it would put them off hiring me. But when I had a chronic fatigue episode they didn't believe me because I hadn't announced it in the first place. :shrug:

It's a vicious circle :roll:
A fair concern. Maybe if something happens and you have to explain that you're Autistic (or, my phrasing, "I have a doctor's note for that") you could note that it doesn't usually get in the way, just makes you seem "quirky".


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KitLily
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25 Sep 2022, 12:43 pm

Double Retired wrote:
KitLily wrote:
What spooked me about this was one job I worked in. I didn't tell them I had chronic fatigue because it would put them off hiring me. But when I had a chronic fatigue episode they didn't believe me because I hadn't announced it in the first place. :shrug:

It's a vicious circle :roll:
A fair concern. Maybe if something happens and you have to explain that you're Autistic (or, my phrasing, "I have a doctor's note for that") you could note that it doesn't usually get in the way, just makes you seem "quirky".


Righto! I'm prepared now!

Thanks everyone!


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