Would you date a criminal (a person having a record)?

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r00tb33r
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08 Oct 2022, 7:29 pm

Watching a movie where the protagonist lady has a record (DUI, assault)... To start with.
I understand she has a college degree, so that's not a defining characteristic...
Still, as attractive as someone like that might be, I don't think I'd get involved with someone making poor decisions like that.


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SummerAndSmoke
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08 Oct 2022, 8:44 pm

It would really depend on the nature of the crime, how long ago it was and whether or not they were likely to re-offend. Anyone who has a history of sexual violence would be an automatic no for me.



Raleigh
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08 Oct 2022, 8:46 pm

Yes.
I am.


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nick007
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08 Oct 2022, 9:55 pm

SummerAndSmoke wrote:
It would really depend on the nature of the crime, how long ago it was and whether or not they were likely to re-offend. Anyone who has a history of sexual violence would be an automatic no for me.
Same here. It would depend on various factors. Sometimes people get arrested for things that are not really their fault or they get arrested for things that really should be legal.


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techstepgenr8tion
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08 Oct 2022, 10:02 pm

The story matters a lot.

I get that people can do stupid things when they're kids or really be thrown to bad influences as their only life line, it really depends on where they're at now and whether it was a turn-around (I think of some of the gangsters that get interviewed on LADBible who are now crossing guards and youth mentors - that degree of change).

The trouble with us as human is - we're really risk-averse for good reason (if you knowingly step in it you not only step in it but also proved to the people around you that you don't have it together upstairs). Something like growing up in poverty, without psychopathy, and then finding out later that there's a whole other way to think and live that you just never got exposed to - that's one thing. Life-long sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies not explained by hard times? That looks like a stable trait and there's rarely a reason to think that goes away unless it's someone whose really seeking help, going to meetings, etc. - it happens but it seems to be rare.


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r00tb33r
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08 Oct 2022, 11:31 pm

nick007 wrote:
Sometimes people get arrested for things that are not really their fault or they get arrested for things that really should be legal.


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babybird
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09 Oct 2022, 4:40 am

I'm a bit weird about this because if I was dating a man then no but if I was dating a woman then yes.

Don't ask me why because I don't know. Its probably psychological and to do with me having a split personality.


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DanielW
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09 Oct 2022, 5:22 am

Just having a criminal record isn't a deal-beaker. A lot depends on the type of crime and circumstances. It doesn't automatically mean someone is in the habit of making poor life choices either. There are plenty of justifiable reasons to break a law - laws aren't always fair or just.



kraftiekortie
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09 Oct 2022, 7:53 am

Me? Probably not, especially if the person has lived all her life in NYC.

It’s pretty hard to get a criminal record in NYC. I’ve seen people who have had 10 or more Disorderly Conduct or Harassment convictions (after plea bargains) before they are finally convicted of a misdemeanor, thus acquiring a criminal record.

It’s not hard to get arrested. And it’s a rough experience if you spend the night in jail. Once the defendant gets to court, however, there is frequently leniency practiced by the prosecutor and the judge. If you assault somebody, say, they’ll let you plea down to Disorderly Conduct, and put you into some sort of program or make you perform community service. If it’s a first offense, one frequently gets an ACD (adjournment in contemplation of dismissal), with no requirement for community service, and the case is sealed after six months, if no new arrests in that time.

It is even harder to actually get any jail time. Over the past couple of years, no one has been sentenced to jail if they were not already in jail pending trial, based upon a bench warrant history. Basically, if you show up to court, it’s very unlikely you will be sentenced to jail based upon a misdemeanor or violation conviction. A plea bargain is a conviction.

Once you get a criminal record in NY State, however, it can never be expunged. It stays with you for life.



kraftiekortie
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09 Oct 2022, 9:18 am

I find, most of the time, that people don’t have to commit crimes.



DanielW
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09 Oct 2022, 9:46 am

You can get something expunged from a criminal record anywhere in the US - New York isn't outside or above federal law. If a judge wants something removed or a District attorney wants to remove something as part of a plea deal - they certainly can.



DunaDuna
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09 Oct 2022, 10:24 am

As with everything, it depends on the individual. I have dated an addict, someone with a criminal record for minor offenses, a cop, a professional soldier, someone with very strange (but inoffensive) sexual preferences, a transvestite...
Until I realized I don't really like to date at all. I like to know people that are not mainstream, because they are more fun to be with.

If by "dating" you mean looking for a sexual relationship, then I don't want to date at all.
If "dating" means going out with someone to have fun, then a criminal record wouldn't bother me.



kraftiekortie
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09 Oct 2022, 12:50 pm

Maybe one can get a record expunged if somebody “knows somebody.”

But New York law does not provide for an expungement of a misdemeanor or felony record.

Federal criminal law does not supersede state criminal law.

Trump could have pardoned someone while he was president for a federal conviction—but not a state conviction. A president can pardon Trump for a federal conviction—but only a state governor could pardon Trump for a state conviction.

There are many chances for “diversion,” though, especially if one is under the age of 21, before someone acquires a permanent criminal record.

Technically, you’re an adult at age 16 in criminal justice terms—but, like I said, there are programs for “youthful offenders.”



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 09 Oct 2022, 12:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.

nick007
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09 Oct 2022, 12:53 pm

DanielW wrote:
Just having a criminal record isn't a deal-beaker. A lot depends on the type of crime and circumstances. It doesn't automatically mean someone is in the habit of making poor life choices either. There are plenty of justifiable reasons to break a law - laws aren't always fair or just.
True. This question is too vauge. For example Biden just pardoned people who were convicted only for simple possession of pot. There is a HUGE difference between somebody who occasionally gets high at home on their weekends & somebody who is a seriel killer but both could have criminal records. There's also been plenty of civil rights activists & various others who were arrested & found guilty when they were publically protesting because they were tresspassing, disturbing the peace, or being disorderly; while there's plenty of politicians who get away with violent rape. The justice system is EXTREMLY FLAWED


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IsabellaLinton
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09 Oct 2022, 1:01 pm

dealbreakers:

kidnap
sexual assault
intimate partner violence
domestic violence
child abuse
animal abuse
stalking
drunk driving
drugging people
trafficking
exploitation / cyber theft
terrorism
murder
hate crimes

----

I suppose that leaves a few things off the table
I'd be OK with minor offences in the long past



DunaDuna
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09 Oct 2022, 2:19 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I find, most of the time, that people don’t have to commit crimes.


It depends on what you define as a crime. Does it depend on specific laws? Or is it something ethical?
What's lawful and ethical for someone doesn't have to be for somebody else. And today's laws may be overuled tomorrow, and then what?
Then take circumstances into consideration - if you need to steal or Rob or kill just to stay alive?
I consider it a crime when someone abandons a pet.
I also consider it a crime to keep polluting our planet by consuming more than we actually need.
Or taking advantage of the friendly and naive neighbor.
So I think we all commit crimes on daily basis.