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hyaline
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15 Oct 2022, 7:53 pm

i don’t know if this is something other people here feel. for years i’ve felt like i’m just an alien. i feel like everyone operates on some different level than i do, in that they always make friends quickly & connect with everyone so easily. it makes me feel so lonely. i feel like i’m missing a piece of the puzzle.

i often feel like people can just sense that i’m wrong, as if there’s something they pick up on i don’t. if i’m honest, it’s made me feel very hopeless.

does anyone else feel this way? what do you do when you do? or how have you learned to deal with it?



Mona Pereth
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15 Oct 2022, 8:58 pm

I've never fit in with mainstream society.

In college and afterward, I learned to deal with it by seeking out fellow oddballs of one kind or another. Sometimes I joined already-existing groups, sometimes I started my own groups, or helped other people start groups.


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autisticelders
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17 Oct 2022, 6:41 am

I think that is why this page got named "wrong planet" is because many of us just don't feel as if we belong in this world. I have learned not to force myself into social situations where I experience constant failure, even if others expect it of me. I am learning "work arounds" that suit me and my sensory processing "things" better. Choose your worst struggles, one at a time. What is the hardest or most uncomfortable thing you ask of yourself? Are there other things that could be substituted instead? I gave myself permission to skip the really hard activities and found ways to do other things as a substitute . That's pretty general, I know, but it has helped! We don't have to do things a certain way. There are probably alternatives to almost everything we do, different ways to get that job done or meet those expectations for our selves. You are not alone.


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saimand
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25 Oct 2022, 2:09 pm

Yes , i feel like i dont belong anywhere. Even ND people i know have something in common,like manga,animes, gaming and I couldnt care less for stuff like that. My interests are so few and narrow and eberyone mostly makes fun of them. And still want to belong and fit in


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Summer_Twilight
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26 Oct 2022, 2:37 pm

hyaline wrote:
i don’t know if this is something other people here feel. for years i’ve felt like i’m just an alien. i feel like everyone operates on some different level than i do, in that they always make friends quickly & connect with everyone so easily. it makes me feel so lonely. i feel like i’m missing a piece of the puzzle.

i often feel like people can just sense that i’m wrong, as if there’s something they pick up on i don’t. if i’m honest, it’s made me feel very hopeless.

does anyone else feel this way? what do you do when you do? or how have you learned to deal with it?


Yes, I do and I honestly feel a little jealous of my peers because they seem to connect very shortly after getting to know each other. As I just talked about in another post though, I really feel that NTs don't know how to connect with people on the spectrum either because they don't understand. Not only that, we live in a society that swallows every stereotype and little information about autism and neurodiversity.

Then you have the unwritten social rules of people connecting based on things they have in common. For example, if they both are divorced.

Off topic:

If you watch the Big Bang Theory, there is an episode where a character Burt, who is definitely on the spectrum, has a hard time connecting with his colleagues. There was an episode where he invited colleagues from his apartment to a University social and only two people show up. I would need to read up more on social unwritten rules when it comes to inviting people to parties.



blitzkrieg
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18 Dec 2022, 2:45 am

Society at large tends to alienate neurodiverse folk which is why you'll find a lot of those people here, on this website, with an alien logo/image at the top of the website.

Being repeatedly shunned by society and people in general is sure to break people on some level & to varying degrees. It's not nice to be ostracized or rejected & such a thing can be emotionally damaging to a person.

You should take solace in the fact that you are definitely not alone feeling like this.



Mona Pereth
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18 Dec 2022, 3:47 am

saimand wrote:
Yes , i feel like i dont belong anywhere. Even ND people i know have something in common,like manga,animes, gaming and I couldnt care less for stuff like that. My interests are so few and narrow and eberyone mostly makes fun of them. And still want to belong and fit in

Surely you aren't the only person in the world with your specific "few and narrow" interests. I would suggest that you make a point of looking for the few people who indeed share them -- especially among people who are also autistic.

For example, here on Wrong Planet, you could edit your profile to mention your special interests in a signature line. It's unlikely that anyone here will make fun of your interests -- and, if anyone does, feel free to report them to the moderators.


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- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter (new as of 2021)