I'm clueless on socializing and feel like giving up

Page 1 of 1 [ 3 posts ] 

CryptiiCacti
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 20 Oct 2022
Age: 16
Gender: Female
Posts: 1

20 Oct 2022, 9:00 am

High school student with practically 0 social life since as long as I can remember. I stopped talking much after being told that I tend to ramble on about really nerdy and boring stuff, since I don't really have any other way to contribute to a conversation. I tried being a good listener but people don't let me in on the most trivial things because they're worried I'll judge. I'm not a judgemental person at all and have no clue when and how I came off that way. I don't know how to fix this.

Socializing is beyond difficult in my case and has been for at least a decade now, there are many things I just can't put to words. I was never bullied though, people seem to just approach me then turn away for no obvious reason. I would like to believe I am very polite; at least I try very hard to be so again aren't clear on where I am lacking. I also desperately attempted at online friendships but was unlucky enough to be preyed upon and almost taken advantage of -- that was the tipping point for me (it was kind of my fault though for being stupid). Now all my will to step out of my little circle is smothered. Should I just stay alone? Am I going to be okay this way?



klanka
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 31 Mar 2022
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,518
Location: Cardiff, Wales

20 Oct 2022, 9:58 am

i realised that my social skills were at their highest soon after i left high school ...due to the fact i was around people all day..for most of the year.

You seem to be in high school and suffering, well, arent there any other nerdy girls in your HS?



Mona Pereth
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Sep 2018
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,296
Location: New York City (Queens)

21 Oct 2022, 10:40 am

CryptiiCacti wrote:
High school student with practically 0 social life since as long as I can remember. I stopped talking much after being told that I tend to ramble on about really nerdy and boring stuff, since I don't really have any other way to contribute to a conversation.

IMO, you need to try to find people who share your "nerdy" interests and who enjoy sharing info about them.

What kinds of "really nerdy and boring stuff" are you interested in, specifically? Maybe you could try to start a club at your school for kids who share some specific hobby of yours, if such a club does not already exist?

CryptiiCacti wrote:
I tried being a good listener but people don't let me in on the most trivial things because they're worried I'll judge. I'm not a judgemental person at all and have no clue when and how I came off that way. I don't know how to fix this.

Socializing is beyond difficult in my case and has been for at least a decade now, there are many things I just can't put to words. I was never bullied though, people seem to just approach me then turn away for no obvious reason. I would like to believe I am very polite; at least I try very hard to be so again aren't clear on where I am lacking. I also desperately attempted at online friendships but was unlucky enough to be preyed upon and almost taken advantage of -- that was the tipping point for me (it was kind of my fault though for being stupid). Now all my will to step out of my little circle is smothered. Should I just stay alone? Am I going to be okay this way?

There are many advantages to having friends. But this doesn't mean you need to socialize in the standard, mainstream ways. It's probably better to find alternative ways of finding friends who will fit your personality and interests.


_________________
- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter (new as of 2021)