So why was this an weird/awkward thing to do?

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Jamesy
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03 Nov 2022, 9:51 am

So I was out last Saturday at my local bar. I was talking to this guy I knew about an attractive girl I used to know and when I showed him a Facebook photo of her he cringed and was like “Uhhhhhh god”.

So from his point of view why was that embarrassing thing I did? I just showed him a Facebook pic of her?

He knows I have Aspergers by the way.



klanka
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03 Nov 2022, 10:36 am

I don't know, people have shown me pictures of women on their phones...

Maybe he saw a tv show that said showing Facebook pics is lame, or something he looks at online.

Could you ask him if he thinks showing photos is cringey? Then your curiousity would be 100% satisfied.



Jamesy
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03 Nov 2022, 10:51 am

klanka wrote:
I don't know, people have shown me pictures of women on their phones...

Maybe he saw a tv show that said showing Facebook pics is lame, or something he looks at online.

Could you ask him if he thinks showing photos is cringey? Then your curiousity would be 100% satisfied.



This one girl at the bar said to me last Saturday when meeting me for the first time “Wow your weird”



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03 Nov 2022, 10:56 am

What had you said or done just before she said that?



Caz72
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03 Nov 2022, 11:55 am

could it be he didnt like the look of her

why do you go to this pub or bar where people are always insulting you

i stopped going to those places a long time ago


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03 Nov 2022, 12:24 pm

It seems that people say things to you at the pub, then you go home and wonder what it means.
Could you work on asking people directly so you don't have to ruminate?

When he said "Oh God ..."
You might have said "What do you mean?" and clarified straight away.

Maybe he meant she wasn't his type.
Maybe he meant he's tired of you wanting reassurance about your choices.
Maybe he meant he saw God.

You won't know unless you ask.



Jamesy
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03 Nov 2022, 12:25 pm

Caz72 wrote:
could it be he didnt like the look of her

why do you go to this pub or bar where people are always insulting you

i stopped going to those places a long time ago



I dunno because I would be lonely if I did not go out



blitzkrieg
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03 Nov 2022, 4:00 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Caz72 wrote:
could it be he didnt like the look of her

why do you go to this pub or bar where people are always insulting you

i stopped going to those places a long time ago



I dunno because I would be lonely if I did not go out


Is there not any meet up groups in your local area? You could try those instead of basing your life around people who don't like you in watering holes.



Jamesy
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03 Nov 2022, 4:55 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Caz72 wrote:
could it be he didnt like the look of her

why do you go to this pub or bar where people are always insulting you

i stopped going to those places a long time ago



I dunno because I would be lonely if I did not go out


Is there not any meet up groups in your local area? You could try those instead of basing your life around people who don't like you in watering holes.




Why should people dislike me? I don’t go out to make enemies



Aspie1
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15 Nov 2022, 6:31 am

Possibly, it wasn't "awkward". It was fine.

NTs will often act in confusing or unpredictable ways to troll you or intimidate you. It's a faked act, due to the NTs' predatory instincts: the strong dominate and abuse the weak. My therapist and even my own family did that to me more times than I can count, all because they saw me as weak garbage to be messed with for a cheap thrill. Particularly, they'd pretend they don't know what I'm talking about when I talked about the most normal things, like my toys getting thrown out while I was away, or my sister being favored over me. The person who trolled you had the same mindset. So don't let it unsettle you. Kick them out of your life instead. It's the only thing those NT people will understand.



Mona Pereth
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15 Nov 2022, 7:44 am

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Is there not any meet up groups in your local area? You could try those instead of basing your life around people who don't like you in watering holes.


Why should people dislike me? I don’t go out to make enemies

The point is that you should find other places to hang out besides your local bar. Check Meetup.com to see if there are any local groups or activities that interest you.


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15 Nov 2022, 9:12 am

People at bars drink alcohol. People who drink alcohol sometimes behave oddly or have low barriers to expressing emotions. He might have been more polite if he weren’t drinking.
Was this person a friend or a stranger? May simply have wanted less intimacy than to discuss your love life with you, or wanted to be alone. He could have been having trouble with his wife or girlfriend and did not want to discuss relationships with you because it brought up his own pain or discomfort. His reaction may have been exaggerated because he was drinking.

I once had someone tell me I was creepy because I had a pictures of coworkers on my desk at work. I had them to help me concentrate on work relayed to each person and covid isolated me. I was having trouble focusing and thought a visual prompt might help. I also have trouble putting names to faces. A picture with a name attached helps me to identify people. Some pictures I got from the company electronic address book. Some pictures I got from linkedin because the picture was missing on the address book. When my boss found out I got pictures from linked he said “that is a little bit creepy”. I guess he was thinking about cyber stalkers. I didn't see my behavior as "stalking" but perhaps he saw things differently.

Wikipedia - Cyberstalking
Wikipedia - Stalking
Wikipedia - Surveillance


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blitzkrieg
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15 Nov 2022, 11:13 am

Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Caz72 wrote:
could it be he didnt like the look of her

why do you go to this pub or bar where people are always insulting you

i stopped going to those places a long time ago



I dunno because I would be lonely if I did not go out


Is there not any meet up groups in your local area? You could try those instead of basing your life around people who don't like you in watering holes.




Why should people dislike me? I don’t go out to make enemies


I thought you said somewhere that some of the people you meet in bars make fun of you & have told you to socialise with people your own age?

Maybe I got the wrong end of the stick?



Leo_Cherry3
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15 Nov 2022, 12:06 pm

As someone with few issues with reading emotions, this wasn't weird. That reaction just means the guy didn't get why you called that girl attractive, and that happened because she's not his type (he didn't find her attractive). It usually happens in conversations between people with different tastes, and it's not weird. However, that guy now probably thinks you're weird - just because he found your taste weird



naturalplastic
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15 Nov 2022, 12:20 pm

I dont think that it was the fact you were showing her pic on FB, it was that she wasnt his type.

But showing her pic probably wasnt necessary for telling him your story.



naturalplastic
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15 Nov 2022, 12:23 pm

blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
blitzkrieg wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Caz72 wrote:
could it be he didnt like the look of her

why do you go to this pub or bar where people are always insulting you

i stopped going to those places a long time ago



I dunno because I would be lonely if I did not go out


Is there not any meet up groups in your local area? You could try those instead of basing your life around people who don't like you in watering holes.




Why should people dislike me? I don’t go out to make enemies


I thought you said somewhere that some of the people you meet in bars make fun of you & have told you to socialise with people your own age?



No. He said the goes to pubs because the folks there are his own age. Said that in response to us on WP telling him to go somewhere else to make friends. He was complaining about how his only friends (from other places) are all either little kids and the elderly (not that thats bad per se, but I can understand him wanting meet SOME folks his own age, especially ones of the opposite sex).