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Aet1985
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10 Nov 2022, 5:38 pm

I always wondered this has been on my mind for a while, is it a Aspies neurology setup, that is causing me to feel everything so deeply or get angry and upset, to the point I am becoming a hermit? while most NT's just go along with everything, and I also have a different belief system, I end up getting burnt out and fed up, yet they seem fine



Juliette
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10 Nov 2022, 6:34 pm

“Feeling everything so deeply” … oh yes! In the past it was thought that we don’t feel much of anything, when all along, it was more of a matter of feeling too much!

From an older article I once wrote…
An autistic person may feel emotion far more intensely than one who is not on the autism spectrum. (See “Aspergers Theory Does About Face” A groundbreaking study suggests people with autism-spectrum disorders such as Aspergers do not lack empathy rather, they feel others emotions too intensely to cope:
https://www.thestar.com/life/health_wellness/diseases_cures/2009/05/14/aspergers_theory_does_aboutface.html

Time alone to recharge our batteries, time to recover from “overload”, the high rate of burnout among us … all part of the experience of being on the spectrum. Knowing your triggers, working with it, not against it, is vital.



Carl Friedrich Gauss
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11 Nov 2022, 6:36 am

It is a big misconception that individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder do not have empathy abilities. Sometimes, Empathy means danger, as they experience emotions tens of times deeper. That's why the brain often inhibits empathy... In order not to get hurt... And sometimes just because of rationality.



Caz72
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11 Nov 2022, 8:22 am

i literally do have very little to no empathy but im not speaking for everyone here only for myself


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Carl Friedrich Gauss
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11 Nov 2022, 9:42 am

Can it be because of what you experienced in the past? Since you have underwent many cruelties as much as I remember from what you wrote in the past. I respect what you wrote and understood if you have even no empathy.



Caz72
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11 Nov 2022, 10:32 am

Carl Friedrich Gauss wrote:
Can it be because of what you experienced in the past? Since you have underwent many cruelties as much as I remember from what you wrote in the past. I respect what you wrote and understood if you have even no empathy.


i cant relate to people and not only i have no interest in people apart from my husband and son but i lack the part of the brain that picks up on emotions and im almost unable to feel guilt or embarasment
but i dont even feel bad if i upset people but no i dont go around deliberately upsetting people to enjoy it..its literally not in my capability to understand or feel what theyre feeling
a lot of autistics here do feel for other people and get worried or ashamed of embarras when around others and are people pleasers and care about them
me no i cant do that which is why i come to this site quite a lot these days to try and learn some social things from other autistic without having to meet face to face

yes im 50 and i am still clueless i just cant seem to grasp social cues


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BreathlessJade
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11 Nov 2022, 10:42 am

Aet1985 wrote:
I always wondered this has been on my mind for a while, is it a Aspies neurology setup, that is causing me to feel everything so deeply or get angry and upset, to the point I am becoming a hermit? while most NT's just go along with everything, and I also have a different belief system, I end up getting burnt out and fed up, yet they seem fine

I think NT get frustrated on many levels, but not as easily as neurodiverse and they have built in tools to deal better. I also think NT people are more likely to be OK with putting on a fake smile and act like nothomgs wrong. I know I was never good at that. Since childhood, my emotions were loud and clear and were often criticized so solitude was my natural go to.



BreathlessJade
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11 Nov 2022, 10:49 am

Juliette wrote:
“Feeling everything so deeply” … oh yes! In the past it was thought that we don’t feel much of anything, when all along, it was more of a matter of feeling too much!

From an older article I once wrote…
An autistic person may feel emotion far more intensely than one who is not on the autism spectrum. (See “Aspergers Theory Does About Face” A groundbreaking study suggests people with autism-spectrum disorders such as Aspergers do not lack empathy rather, they feel others emotions too intensely to cope:
https://www.thestar.com/life/health_wellness/diseases_cures/2009/05/14/aspergers_theory_does_aboutface.html

Time alone to recharge our batteries, time to recover from “overload”, the high rate of burnout among us … all part of the experience of being on the spectrum. Knowing your triggers, working with it, not against it, is vital.

Could that be why, for example, I'll listen to a romantic song with no romantic feeling but cry because I'm thinking of the 80's, fatherlessness, obscure particular locations, even dreams?? I also prefer it because it does feel more substantial



Caz72
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11 Nov 2022, 10:53 am

BreathlessJade wrote:
Aet1985 wrote:
I always wondered this has been on my mind for a while, is it a Aspies neurology setup, that is causing me to feel everything so deeply or get angry and upset, to the point I am becoming a hermit? while most NT's just go along with everything, and I also have a different belief system, I end up getting burnt out and fed up, yet they seem fine

I think NT get frustrated on many levels, but not as easily as neurodiverse and they have built in tools to deal better. I also think NT people are more likely to be OK with putting on a fake smile and act like nothomgs wrong. I know I was never good at that. Since childhood, my emotions were loud and clear and were often criticized so solitude was my natural go to.


but arent autistic supposed to be the ones who have difficulty expressing our feelings


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Carl Friedrich Gauss
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11 Nov 2022, 12:44 pm

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TajItoz3ftI

Empathy can be divided into two parts. To me rational empathy is more important than emotional empathy.

Suppose I feel no emotional empathy but I somehow know that killing people or hurting people or a child (some of us here shared a video in which a women hurt a child. I didn't watch. But I read all writings there) is bad or irrational. Then I take a stance.

But there is also another important issue. Even if I can feel very deep, sometimes I even don't know what I am feeling.

Anyway. Maybe all of the serial killers are NTs. This is not about people with autism don't have empathy. This is about how lack of empathy affects results of our behaviors. I never met or heard a person with ASD did something very brutal. At least, we aren't interested in hurting others.



BreathlessJade
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12 Nov 2022, 2:27 am

Caz72 wrote:
BreathlessJade wrote:
Aet1985 wrote:
I always wondered this has been on my mind for a while, is it a Aspies neurology setup, that is causing me to feel everything so deeply or get angry and upset, to the point I am becoming a hermit? while most NT's just go along with everything, and I also have a different belief system, I end up getting burnt out and fed up, yet they seem fine

I think NT get frustrated on many levels, but not as easily as neurodiverse and they have built in tools to deal better. I also think NT people are more likely to be OK with putting on a fake smile and act like nothomgs wrong. I know I was never good at that. Since childhood, my emotions were loud and clear and were often criticized so solitude was my natural go to.


but arent autistic supposed to be the ones who have difficulty expressing our feelings

Yes, perhaps I worded it incorrectly. Example: mom would get frustrated with me because I'd "pout" when I really didn't have an attitude, I was overwhelmed and most often over stimulated, and did not have the choice to quietly isolate. I could not express or explain what I was feeling, so I'd shut down. Very embarrassing