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ASPartOfMe
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11 Nov 2022, 8:11 am

She was 87 years old and suffered a lot in the last year of her life with many conditions. Considering I grew up in the 60s and 70s undiagnosed she did very well by me. I read accounts here from my fellow baby boomer autistics of how their parents tried to beat their autistic traits out of them or disown them and I am grateful not to have faced that.

I’ll be around in some capacity. While the next week will be multitasking hell she drilled into us that no matter what is happening with you the world and life goes on.


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Last edited by ASPartOfMe on 11 Nov 2022, 8:29 am, edited 1 time in total.

Misslizard
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11 Nov 2022, 8:23 am

My sincere condolences.Take care of yourself .


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Mountain Goat
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11 Nov 2022, 8:52 am

Sorry to hear.



magz
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11 Nov 2022, 9:52 am

I believe she had a life worth living, having raised you :heart:


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Summer_Twilight
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11 Nov 2022, 10:33 am

I am really sorry that you lost your mom as it sounds like you both had a great relationship. It's always hard when you lose a loved one who you were close to as some point.



Doberdoofus
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11 Nov 2022, 10:35 am

((ASPartOfMe))


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IsabellaLinton
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11 Nov 2022, 10:37 am

I'm so sorry ASP. It sounds like she was a remarkable woman.
Take good care of yourself in this new chapter of life.



kraftiekortie
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11 Nov 2022, 11:06 am

I send my condolences.

Your mother raised a good guy.



Juliette
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11 Nov 2022, 4:45 pm

My deepest condolences, ASPartofMe. Your Mother was clearly a wonderful woman. May she Rest in Peace & may you find strength in the life she shared & gave to you. xx



ASPartOfMe
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11 Nov 2022, 5:02 pm

Thanks, everybody for the condolences and remarks.


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“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman


dragonsanddemons
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11 Nov 2022, 9:00 pm

Condolences and hugs from me as well.


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MuddRM
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11 Nov 2022, 9:43 pm

I know exactly what you’re going through. I lost my mother 12 years ago on November 15.

I’m going through major depression right now because of this anniversary. I still catch hell and got blamed by my 2 youngest brothers for my behaviors that caused her death (I had major reactions to the antidepressants and antipsychotics the psychiatrist had me on at the time. They cut all ties with me shortly after the funeral , when they booted me out to the street to die). Granted, mom had major issues with bipolar disorder, since she grew up in a majorly dysfunctional home. (Her father and grandfather were the town drunks, they ran a speakeasy, and were extremely abusive: physically, verbally, mentally, and emotionally). You never wanted to p!ss her off, as she had a hair pin trigger on her temper. Once it was triggered, she would beat the living sh!t out of us with whatever she had in her hands at the time, and she didn’t care who witnessed the beating. If we had company, she would be all sweetness and light, but as soon as they left, is when all hell broke loose.



Pepe
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12 Nov 2022, 5:20 am

Condolences.

Coincidentally, my mother also died at age 87, almost 88.
But that was 8 years ago.


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Where_am_I
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12 Nov 2022, 6:08 am

I'm so sorry for your loss. :|


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naturalplastic
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12 Nov 2022, 7:18 am

My condolences.

Sis, and I, were hanging with a bunch other kids who grew up on the block (were all now gray-headed Boomers). And we all compared notes on losing our parents.

One guy was still haunted by the fact that the last words he had with his dad were angry. He and his dad got into a fight, and the next day his dad died of a heart attack.

In contrast, both of our parents died only after suffering years of degenerative medical conditions. Your mom apparently was more like our two parents.

You may have a 'delayed' reaction because it is this recent -suffering- version of the person who is now gone. And now their suffering is over.

Once the dust has settled from probate and all of that-maybe a couple of years down the road- it will kick in that -the normal version of your parent (the version you grew up with) is also gone- and the grief, and the feeling of loss will kick in.



ASPartOfMe
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12 Nov 2022, 9:13 am

naturalplastic wrote:
My condolences.

Sis, and I, were hanging with a bunch other kids who grew up on the block (were all now gray-headed Boomers). And we all compared notes on losing our parents.

One guy was still haunted by the fact that the last words he had with his dad were angry. He and his dad got into a fight, and the next day his dad died of a heart attack.

In contrast, both of our parents died only after suffering years of degenerative medical conditions. Your mom apparently was more like our two parents.

You may have a 'delayed' reaction because it is this recent -suffering- version of the person who is now gone. And now their suffering is over.

Once the dust has settled from probate and all of that-maybe a couple of years down the road- it will kick in that -the normal version of your parent (the version you grew up with) is also gone- and the grief, and the feeling of loss will kick in.

I often have an atypically delayed reaction to these things anyway.


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DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity

“My autism is not a superpower. It also isn’t some kind of god-forsaken, endless fountain of suffering inflicted on my family. It’s just part of who I am as a person”. - Sara Luterman