Is it bad to only pay for half of a gf's Christmas present?

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ironpony
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22 Nov 2022, 8:57 am

I wasn't sure what to get for her, and she needed a new mattress and was going to buy one, so I offered to pay for half as a Christmas gift, because a mattress is more expensive than what I am used to giving in my experience. But does it come off as tacky if I paid for half of a present though, or not that romantic do you think?



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22 Nov 2022, 10:37 am

If she needs one and was going to buy one then a cash gift for half the price is a nice gift. Paying for all of it would be even nicer, but you two should talk about it. Women still like a man who can take care of them (if my wife is anything to go by). But if paying for all of it would put resentment in your heart - half as cash, or check with a nice note or card stating the intended use might be better.

If it was me I would still want to also give a small token gift wrapped under the tree. Like chocolate or a scented bar of soap or a small piece of jewelry.


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The_Face_of_Boo
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22 Nov 2022, 10:42 am

Yes.


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rse92
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22 Nov 2022, 1:14 pm

My initial reaction was to say it is a nice gift.

Then i remembered that I have been rotten lousy forever at buying my girlfriends and wives Christmas presents.

She can pay for a mattress herself. Buy her bling.



kraftiekortie
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22 Nov 2022, 2:21 pm

Most people who aren't in a serious relationship with each other would probably consider that "tacky."

My wife, though, doesn't mind. We go "halfies" all the time.



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22 Nov 2022, 7:44 pm

Is she struggling to pay for the mattress? What was her reaction when you offered to pay half?

I think it's nicer when you buy something indulgent as a gift. Buying something useful (something they can buy for themselves) isn't really a great gift - unless you are certain that is what the recipient would prefer.

And you should always spend within your means. No decent human would take issue with that.


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ironpony
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22 Nov 2022, 8:42 pm

Oh okay thanks. Well if it's only tacky to pay for half, what I could do is get her a necklace with the half if that sounds good?



r00tb33r
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23 Nov 2022, 5:01 am

So just the side you sleep on? :lol:

JK. Cash or gift card, and in the gift note you can say it's toward a new mattress.



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23 Nov 2022, 7:18 am

ironpony wrote:
I wasn't sure what to get for her, and she needed a new mattress and was going to buy one, so I offered to pay for half as a Christmas gift...

Well you already offered so I guess you'll find out how she feels about it. But then you should also get her something else.


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goldfish21
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01 Dec 2022, 11:13 am

Like kraftie said, not tacky for a couple who's been together a long while and are very practical/frugal.

Here's how I would approach this one:

I'd let her know I know she's buying a new mattress, which is a big ticket expense, so, even though it's more than my typical Christmas gift budget I'd ask her outright if she'd prefer I paid for 1/2 of her mattress as a Christmas gift Or if she'd prefer I go shopping for something else and be surprised. Sure, it reveals your budget and maybe ruins a bit of a surprise, but there's not really a surprise gift to open if it's $ towards the mattress anyways. Maybe she'll be super frugal and practical and appreciate the idea and know that her expense was cut in half, or maybe she's budgeted for it just fine and would prefer you go shop for some surprise gift - and then your new budget would be higher than usual as you'd have to shop for gifts around the range of 1/2 the mattress price so she's not like "Wtf.. you were gonna pay for 1/2 the mattress but instead surprised me with a $40 shirt? Okaaaay.."

Maybe you've been together long enough that practical and frugal is the way - let her decide, IMO.


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03 Dec 2022, 11:14 am

Yeah. it's bad. Don't do it unless you can buy the whole mattress. I was in the hospital shortly before Christmas one year, and my then BF came buy and gave me a collection of comics in a published book.

Then, at Christmas, he said the collection of comics he got me while he was in the hospital was also my Christmas gift.

I hope he treats his wife better than he did me.



r00tb33r
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04 Dec 2022, 1:45 am

Struggle7 wrote:
Yeah. it's bad. Don't do it unless you can buy the whole mattress. I was in the hospital shortly before Christmas one year, and my then BF came buy and gave me a collection of comics in a published book.

Then, at Christmas, he said the collection of comics he got me while he was in the hospital was also my Christmas gift.

I hope he treats his wife better than he did me.

You said it was shortly before Christmas. It's not like he's got well-planned gifts growing out of his arse.

Sounds like he married someone else because you were ungrateful and hard to please.



kraftiekortie
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04 Dec 2022, 6:55 am

I would say the husband is rather cheap, over all….but there are worse things a person could do.

I might try that—but my wife wouldn’t go for it.

If my wife did this, I probably wouldn’t care so much, though. This sort of thing is really not something which I consider really important in the grand scheme of things.



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04 Dec 2022, 3:16 pm

It's not really a gift if the recipient is paying for half of it.

If money's tight, just get something more affordable.



cyberdad
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04 Dec 2022, 3:23 pm

Christmas is a one of the last traditional old fashioned values we still have.

In for a penny, in for a pound. If it's a christmas present then pay 100%, otherwise buy her something else.



nick007
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04 Dec 2022, 5:41 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
So just the side you sleep on? :lol:
Good point. If they're living together or sleeping together a bit, offering to pay for half could be seen as a present for him just as much as a present for her. & if they aren't living together, it might even be interpreted as a sign that he's ready to move in with her.

Mattresses can get very expensive depending on size, material, & features. When me & my girlfriend moved in together 10 years ago, we spent close to four thousand on a bed & mattress after interest for four years financing. We financed it in both our names so she could develop a credit history since she didn't have one. Since then she got a few credit-cards & ran up a sh!t ton of debt that she's mostly just making the minimum payments on due to impulsive spending. It woulda been alot better if I had just bought the bed myself & she didn't get started with credit :( I cant really judge her thou cuz I ran up a lot of credit-card debt myself & got into default despite me being a frugal person who didn't have a lot compared to my peers growing up. Moving out of my parents was a huge adjustment for me & the stress along with me wanting to make my gf happy really got to me. We try to share the household expenses so when we buy something like a new mattress, we'll discuss it 1st & get it together & we'll figure out how to pay for it together. We mostly give gifts for Christmas & birthdays & we get something very inexpensive that we know the other would like or we'll pay for something the other tells us they want.


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