What do autistics actually like to do on major birthdays?

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verbose
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27 Nov 2022, 3:11 pm

I’m turning 50 next March, and my wife asked me what I’d like to do. She suggested throwing a party, planning a wine-tasting weekend, or doing the new Star Wars hotel. That last one is very expensive, and before realizing I was autistic, I would vote for the party option. But social gatherings have also always been very difficult for me, even ones where I pick all the guests. The only ones I liked were Halloween parties where I work a mask.

I am a huge Star Wars fan, but not a sequel trilogy fan, so I’m wrestling with that option.

What do you all like to do, knowing yourselves better now, for major birthdays?



autisticelders
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27 Nov 2022, 3:37 pm

birthdays have always been simple at our house. Birthday person gets choice of meal and dessert. I just turned 71, got what I wanted for supper, curled up with a good book most of the day, got phone calls of love from my offspring, a hug and kiss from my loving spouse. It was just what I wanted. Do what is right for you, each of us will be very different. Happy birthday!


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Mountain Goat
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27 Nov 2022, 3:40 pm

Go for a walk on the beach with family.



IsabellaLinton
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27 Nov 2022, 6:45 pm

Nothing different except that I listen to Sgt Peppers, which I only play on my birthday.

I don't like family get-togethers or anything preplanned.

The last few years I've gone horseback riding.



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27 Nov 2022, 6:46 pm

I did just routine things on my 60th birthday.



Texasmoneyman300
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27 Nov 2022, 7:56 pm

I went river tubing and fishing and drank a budweiser for my 21st bday with my dad.



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27 Nov 2022, 8:04 pm

Mine (70th) clashed with Thanksgiving the other day so I was looking after the animals till early evening, while those less fortunate than myself ran the gauntlet of a duty visit which I gather wasn't without moments of stress and conflict for the participants. Life is much easier when you don't do ceremonies, especially when you've got a cast-iron excuse that turns you from a ducker-outer to a hero in the eyes of your loved ones.



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27 Nov 2022, 8:18 pm

for my 50th birthday my husband took me and my son abroad for a couple of weeks


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verbose
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27 Nov 2022, 10:53 pm

Thank you everyone for your responses and great ideas. I really don’t want to be the subject of a large party. The wedding was enough.



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28 Nov 2022, 1:32 am

Just hang out with my parents on my birthday. That's it, pretty much.



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28 Nov 2022, 2:19 am

My 16th my grandfather killed himself.
My 21st I went out with my parents and my boyfriend.
My 30th I wore something ridiculously sexy on a date.
I don't remember any other "major" birthdays.

I think 40 might have been the one where I was returning from a week-long work thing and my partner forgot to pick me up with my car, so I had to stand on the sidewalk for an hour with my suitcase. He was angry that he had to come get me. Then he forgot it was my birthday so he stopped in a market and bought me a chocolate bar with the orange price sticker still on it, even though I hate chocolate. I think he passed out drunk after that.

Good times.



temp1234
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28 Nov 2022, 4:10 am

Major or minor, we had (have) a nice dinner at home and then slices of cake afterwards. That was when I lived with my parents. Now living alone, I do absolutely nothing.

What I like to do is just to have nice dinner and desserts with my parents and siblings. Nothing exceptionally special. Not sure about other autistic people.

Edit: fixed to answer the question



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28 Nov 2022, 10:20 am

I can't say I'm partial to doing anything special for the birthdays that are multiples of ten. They're just birthdays like all the others and make me a year older.

For my most recent birthday my bride cooked a meal she knew I would like and consider to be special.

But she likes to cook. I would've also been happy having a nice dinner out...without the restaurant being informed it was my birthday. "Nice dinner out", for me, would be someplace like Outback, Seasons52,... Outback is an Australia-themed restaurant chain not really from Australia!

If a party is unavoidable I would want it to be small (like at most two other couples who were good friends of mine).


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Gammeldans
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28 Nov 2022, 11:03 am

verbose wrote:
I’m turning 50 next March, and my wife asked me what I’d like to do. She suggested throwing a party, planning a wine-tasting weekend, or doing the new Star Wars hotel. That last one is very expensive, and before realizing I was autistic, I would vote for the party option. But social gatherings have also always been very difficult for me, even ones where I pick all the guests. The only ones I liked were Halloween parties where I work a mask.

I am a huge Star Wars fan, but not a sequel trilogy fan, so I’m wrestling with that option.

What do you all like to do, knowing yourselves better now, for major birthdays?

I would want a party with about ten people.
Then I would want to perform music at the party.
That would mean that I have a specific role. Would probably be really nice



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28 Nov 2022, 2:21 pm

I remember my 21st. I went to a restaurant with a few friends, talked way too much, and couldn't understand why they all left early. :oops:



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28 Nov 2022, 7:46 pm

I never had anything major.

Sure, major parties but that's not for me (and it's also not me) but for people to have an excuse to gorge themselves in meet and greet and food.

If I want something major??
I don't think I'm able to enjoy anything it if I'm in a wrong state of mind and body.
What I have to take account over is beyond taking account on autism.


Honestly, what I want for my birthday is an investment since it's a time when my family pitching in for me.
Transports, equipments, a set of something useful, a furniture, even a check up or opening an account.
Not a fancy dine in while wearing fancy clothes... Or a party.


Edit; accidentally pressed the bump topic button.


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