How To Get A Girlfriend If You're An Autistic Man

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Let's get one thing out of the way, autism is a serious disadvantage in the dating market for guys. BUT, that doesn't mean that it's impossible to find a girlfriend, get laid, or find any sort of romantic experience. Below, I would like to explain a few ways in how autistic men can get a girlfriend.

When it comes to dating, there are various ways one can go about trying to a find a relationship. For example, some people opt to go the online dating route, while other individuals may prefer the real life approach. The trick to dating is to find a method that plays to your strengths and minimizes your weaknesses. For example, a man with really good looks BUT is introverted and awkward would likely benefit from the online dating approach since online dating is 95% looks, and because talking through a screen is easier for introverted and awkward people. On the opposite end of the spectrum, someone who is physically below average but is very funny and outgoing would likely do better with meeting women in real life instead where he can win a woman over through his charisma and charm.

The majority of autistic men are not naturally charming or particularly socially intelligent, which means they need to find a way to compensate for these disadvantages should they wish to succeed in the dating market. For some men on the spectrum, this is through being very conventionally attractive. In fact, the better looking you are, the easier it is to compensate for personality/social flaws. An autistic man who is a solid 8+ on the 1-10 lookscale should have very little difficulty with finding women who are interested and he'll likely have had successful hookups, one night stands, short term relationships, should be choose to participate in these activities. However, keeping a woman long term may be an issue when these social and personality flaws begin to reveal themselves as the relationship goes on.

Autistic men who are very intelligent and very successful in their field may be able to find a partner through this method. Some women are particularly drawn to intellectual men and those that appear very intelligent. So an autistic man with very high intelligence may be able to attract a woman this way. Secondly, some women are drawn to wealth and achievement because of hypergamy, which is the tendency for women to date up in the social and financial hierarchy.

Some men opt to go overseas and finding a girlfriend or a wife in a different country may be beneficial depending on their circumstances. For example, in The Philippines many women are interested in dating a white man due to a number of reasons. Caucasians typically come from a first world country which means a filipina marrying a white man means a better life for her and her future offspring. Secondly, white skin is oftentimes considered attractive in filipino culture. Because of these reasons, autistic men that struggle with meeting a girl in their home country may be more successful in countries where finding a partner is considerably easier.


Finally, lowering their standards may be a realistic option for men on the spectrum. Not everyone is capable of dating an extremely beautiful woman as many of them have extremely high standards in a partner which is something that an autistic man may not be able to meet. However, dating a less attractive woman who is plain, overweight, or nerdy, may be a better fit for many men on the spectrum.

Looks like I'll continue to be single.

Yes play to your strengths. The question is, how do we figure out what they are?

Foreign wife looking to get out of poverty suggestion is a bit icky.

Date a range of people. Don't use someone you're not really attracted to though, that's also icky. I find this one difficult because we have natural attractions programmed into us AND we can find non-stereotypically attractive people attractive, but where is the line? If you feel like you're using someone, then you've crossed the line.

The line as I see it would be dating someone with whom you're not open to the prospect of something serious, when you've given them reason to believe that you are.

That's a good way of phrasing it.

I think “nerdy” is sometimes more attractive than “stereotypically hot.”

Men can identify their own strengths and weaknesses as a potential mate pretty much within 30 seconds.

The easiest thing any autistic can do is to look good and stay in shape. Not only does an autisitc have the most control over their looks but they go a long way when dating.

Jobs and achievements is secondary but still important.

When it comes to high standards, that depends. If an autistic is good looking, works hard and has achieved a lot then it's fair to have highish standards. If the opposite is true then no.

It can definitely work. My distant relative found a wife from Singapore and they've been together for 20 years. For some men, that's their only option.

Where's the part about being a nice person and building trust with people?

Being a Nice Guy™ is an almost sure way for a man to be permanently Friendzoned, and you cannot build trust with people with whom you have no relationship.

The OP is suggesting ways to work around these obstacles.

So far, most Nice Guy™s I've encountered were not actually nice guys - just "I'm nice to you so why don't you do what I want, you rat" kind of persons.

The concept of "friendzone" is weird. I can have only one boyfriend/husband but plenty of friends - so most of the males in my social circle are my friends. Being bitter about this simple reality is weird.
Unless we are talking about a Nice Guy™ who keeps pouring money and effort on someone he should have given up long ago.

What you describe is the "Nice Guy™" model.  "Guys being nice" are just ordinary, average Joes with good manners and pleasant dispositions.  See the difference?Bitterness is irrelevant.  I have the impression that most women are turned off by two extremes of male behavior: Nice Guys™ and Total Jerks™.  Somewhere in between are those ordinary, average Joes with good manners and pleasant dispositions who sometimes get grumpy and say/do the wrong things.  Surprisingly, these are the men who seem to eventually enjoy healthy relationships with women.

I could be wrong, of course.

That's the bare minimum. I know a few nice and trustworthy single people, but no one is interested in dating them.

My life experience is that most people in healthy relationships are regular people paired up with some other regular person they happen to like

That’s been my experience, too.