Man sues woman for friendzoning him

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cyberdad
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08 Feb 2023, 3:26 am

SINGAPORE - A man who wanted a romantic relationship with a woman initially threatened to sue her for emotional trauma after he found out that she saw him only as a friend.

The legal action was kept at bay after she agreed to take part in his counselling, but almost 1½ years later, Mr K. Kawshigan still could not accept that Ms Nora Tan did not want to be in a relationship with him.
https://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/ ... jected-him

After she cut off contact with him, he filed two lawsuits against her – a $3 million High Court claim for allegedly causing “damage to his stellar reputation” and “trauma, depression and impacts” to his life, as well as a $22,000 magistrate’s court claim for allegedly breaching an agreement to improve their relationship.
Ms Tan and Mr Kawshigan met in 2016 and became friends over time.

In September 2020, problems began to arise when they became misaligned in how they saw their relationship. While Ms Tan regarded Mr Kawshigan only as a friend, he considered her to be his “closest friend”.

Ms Tan asked for their interactions to be reduced, which displeased Mr Kawshigan, as he felt it constituted taking a step back in their relationship. Nevertheless, she emphasised the need for boundaries and urged him to be “self-reliant”.

On Oct 22 that year, Mr Kawshigan issued her a letter of demand, threatening legal action for “monetary damages arising from negligent infliction of emotional distress and possible defamation”.



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08 Feb 2023, 3:57 am

Any court dominated by rational justice would side with the defendant.
Any court dominated by male privilege would side with the plaintiff.


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cyberdad
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08 Feb 2023, 3:58 am

This is Singapore though. Very patriarchal, conservative.

A minister there once advocated that unattractive women should have a quota for public service/government jobs since no man would marry them.



The_Face_of_Boo
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08 Feb 2023, 8:44 am

Fascinating, I should move there and make big sums of money this way.


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Muse933277
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08 Feb 2023, 5:04 pm

If I could sue women for friendzoning me, I would be a mega millionaire by now.



cyberdad
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08 Feb 2023, 5:15 pm

From a legal perspective it opens up an interesting question. If a woman knowingly continues a friendship with a man knowing he is hoping for a sexual relationship but she has no intention of providing one, is she causing him psychological harm?

From my experience the answer is "yes". This woman I knew did send me mjxed signals even though she was not physically attracted to me in order to keep me as a social acquaintance. At worst (I fear) I may have been a social "pet" for one highly attractive woman back when I was in my late 20s. She valued my intelligence but not my looks or my economic clout. But she was sufficiently ambiguous enough to keep me interested in order that she could maintain my friendship.

Is this unethical? When I stopped calling her she rang me one last time and cried saying how immature I was. She also threw a few crumbs my way saying she had a friend who liked me and she could introduce me. I listened, and then I did what I should have done several years before. I ghosted her.

I regret the years I wasted being her friend. At the time I blamed myself. But in retrospect, she was manipulative, and I fell for it.



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08 Feb 2023, 5:39 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
If I could sue women for friendzoning me, I would be a mega millionaire by now.


If I could sue women for friendzoning me, I would still be poor because it's not like any of them were rich either. :nerdy:


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cyberdad
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08 Feb 2023, 5:48 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
If I could sue women for friendzoning me, I would be a mega millionaire by now.


If I could sue women for friendzoning me, I would still be poor because it's not like any of them were rich either. :nerdy:


Most straight men are of course motivated to "simp" for reasons other than money



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08 Feb 2023, 6:14 pm

cyberdad wrote:
From a legal perspective it opens up an interesting question. If a woman knowingly continues a friendship with a man knowing he is hoping for a sexual relationship but she has no intention of providing one, is she causing him psychological harm?



Of course not, he is causing his own psychological harm for not picking up on the signs. Are women not allowed to be friends with men who want to shag them?

^I'm answering your posed question not being argumentative or having a go < feel I have to add this so you know.


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cyberdad
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08 Feb 2023, 6:30 pm

Recidivist wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
From a legal perspective it opens up an interesting question. If a woman knowingly continues a friendship with a man knowing he is hoping for a sexual relationship but she has no intention of providing one, is she causing him psychological harm?



Of course not, he is causing his own psychological harm for not picking up on the signs. Are women not allowed to be friends with men who want to shag them?

^I'm answering your posed question not being argumentative or having a go < feel I have to add this so you know.


To be honest
1. most young men are really naive
2. women do send mixed signals

In your scenario only when the woman is upfront and says "Please understand, I only see you as a friend, I will never be interested in you in any other way" then sure....the man is 100% responsible if he continues to simp/follow this woman around like a puppy dog.

But that doesn't happen in the real world. Many women do enjoy this power they have over men. Hence the ambiguous signals.



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08 Feb 2023, 6:34 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Recidivist wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
From a legal perspective it opens up an interesting question. If a woman knowingly continues a friendship with a man knowing he is hoping for a sexual relationship but she has no intention of providing one, is she causing him psychological harm?



Of course not, he is causing his own psychological harm for not picking up on the signs. Are women not allowed to be friends with men who want to shag them?

^I'm answering your posed question not being argumentative or having a go < feel I have to add this so you know.


To be honest
1. most young men are really naive
2. women do send mixed signals

In your scenario only when the woman is upfront and says "Please understand, I only see you as a friend, I will never be interested in you in any other way" then sure....the man is 100% responsible if he continues to simp/follow this woman around like a puppy dog.

But that doesn't happen in the real world. Many women do enjoy this power they have over men. Hence the ambiguous signals.


1. Young PEOPLE tend to be naïve.
2. PEOPLE often send mixed signals.


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cyberdad
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08 Feb 2023, 6:40 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
1. Young PEOPLE tend to be naïve.
2. PEOPLE often send mixed signals.


Young "people" (let's remove gender for the moment) should be taught to be direct and not play games with other people's lives.

The Singaporean man in the story is legit hurting. Psychological pain is real.



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08 Feb 2023, 6:42 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
1. Young PEOPLE tend to be naïve.
2. PEOPLE often send mixed signals.


Young "people" should be taught to be direct and not play games with other people's lives.


I can agree with that.


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08 Feb 2023, 6:43 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Recidivist wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
From a legal perspective it opens up an interesting question. If a woman knowingly continues a friendship with a man knowing he is hoping for a sexual relationship but she has no intention of providing one, is she causing him psychological harm?



Of course not, he is causing his own psychological harm for not picking up on the signs. Are women not allowed to be friends with men who want to shag them?

^I'm answering your posed question not being argumentative or having a go < feel I have to add this so you know.


To be honest
1. most young men are really naive


Agreed

cyberdad wrote:
2. women do send mixed signals


Do you mean flirting? There are many reasons why women flirt.

cyberdad wrote:
In your scenario only when the woman is upfront and says "Please understand, I only see you as a friend, I will never be interested in you in any other way" then sure....the man is 100% responsible if he continues to simp/follow this woman around like a puppy dog.

But that doesn't happen in the real world. Many women do enjoy this power they have over men. Hence the ambiguous signals.


It was your scenario (one sentence). There are many variables that I could have added but wanted to go with the only available information.

If a man never asks (for whatever reason) then any psychological harm is his own issue.


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Twilightprincess
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08 Feb 2023, 6:45 pm

cyberdad wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
1. Young PEOPLE tend to be naïve.
2. PEOPLE often send mixed signals.


The Singaporean man in the story is legit hurting. Psychological pain is real.


Psychological pain is real, but I can’t comment on this man’s feelings because I don’t know him personally. Other motivations could be at work, too

In all honesty, I think this situation is utterly absurd.


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08 Feb 2023, 6:48 pm

I sleep with all my male friends.
It makes life a lot easier.


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