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Pepe
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20 Feb 2023, 2:43 am

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I don't want children -- stop telling me I'll change my mind | Christen Reighter
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One in five women in the United States will not have a biological child, and Christen Reighter is one of them. From a young age, she knew she didn't want kids, in spite of the insistence of many people (including her doctor) who told her she'd change her mind. In this powerful talk, she shares her story of seeking sterilization -- and makes the case that motherhood is an extension of womanhood, not the definition.



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Pepe
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20 Feb 2023, 2:50 am

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Why I Am An Antinatalist
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It has been a year since I have decided to be an antinatalist. Antinatalists believe that it is morally the best choice to not have children as life entails suffering.
I decided to make this video on my laptop camera talking a bit about it.
Sorry for the weird angle, I don't want to show my face.
I saw a few people talking about this on YouTube and was glad that people share the same thoughts.
So I thought it was necessary to share my thoughts as well to add on to the voice of all these people.
I am thinking of making more videos about this topic.



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Mountain Goat
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20 Feb 2023, 3:16 am

I don't see it as a problem. All she has to do is stay single or find a partner who does not want children.



Pepe
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20 Feb 2023, 4:12 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
I don't see it as a problem. All she has to do is stay single or find a partner who does not want children.


That is rather rare.
Also, did you watch the video that talks about social pressure to have children?


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Pepe
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20 Feb 2023, 4:14 am

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You Will Change Your Mind - What I heard as an antinatalist.
antinatalist-thoughts
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Not wanting kids is socially unacceptable.
While you can get away by saying things like "we are trying really hard for a baby" in front of your family.

"I don't want to have kids" is not an invitation for you to convince me to have kids.
Also, antinatalism is not about hating kids.
For me, it is about loving my kids so much, that I would never make them go through the burden of existence.



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Pepe
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20 Feb 2023, 4:20 am

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David Benatar may be the world’s most pessimistic philosopher. An “anti-natalist,” he believes that life is so bad, so painful, that human beings should stop having children for reasons of compassion. “While good people go to great lengths to spare their children from suffering, few of them seem to notice that the one (and only) guaranteed way to prevent all the suffering of their children is not to bring those children into existence in the first place,” he writes, in a 2006 book called “Better Never to Have Been: The Harm of Coming Into Existence.” In Benatar’s view, reproducing is intrinsically cruel and irresponsible—not just because a horrible fate can befall anyone, but because life itself is “permeated by badness.” In part for this reason, he thinks that the world would be a better place if sentient life disappeared altogether.

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People, in short, say that life is good. Benatar believes that they are mistaken. “The quality of human life is, contrary to what many people think, actually quite appalling,” he writes, in “The Human Predicament.” He provides an escalating list of woes, designed to prove that even the lives of happy people are worse than they think. We’re almost always hungry or thirsty, he writes; when we’re not, we must go to the bathroom. We often experience “thermal discomfort”—we are too hot or too cold—or are tired and unable to nap. We suffer from itches, allergies, and colds, menstrual pains or hot flashes. Life is a procession of “frustrations and irritations”—waiting in traffic, standing in line, filling out forms. Forced to work, we often find our jobs exhausting; even “those who enjoy their work may have professional aspirations that remain unfulfilled.” Many lonely people remain single, while those who marry fight and divorce. “People want to be, look, and feel younger, and yet they age relentlessly”:


https://www.newyorker.com/culture/perso ... being-born


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Pepe
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20 Feb 2023, 5:41 am

"Extinction is a kindness." 8)


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Mountain Goat
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20 Feb 2023, 6:20 am

Pepe wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
I don't see it as a problem. All she has to do is stay single or find a partner who does not want children.


That is rather rare.
Also, did you watch the video that talks about social pressure to have children?


All I see are blank square gaps. I can't see any of these youtube things like I did with the last tablet.



Edna3362
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20 Feb 2023, 6:45 am

I don't mind children themselves. Them, existing and coming to an existence.

What I DO mind; the places they will very much end up existing onto; poverty, discrimination, crime, ignorance, the collective and generational trauma and complexes for all of it's entirety.

Basically whatever crap humans in general are being screwed over to begin with, THEN perpetuate it by basically passing it into their children, and their children passing it into their children...

This includes whatever curse my parents gave me and whatever curse I myself am carrying.

And people are somewhat at least getting to know the fact that not everyone is good enough to prevent themselves from passing the BS that they caught from the BS of their parents, on to their children.

To some, it takes generations to 'heal'.
:roll: But do every entire generation were ever willing to work for it?

To others? Maybe a lucky break here and there...
But does that guarantee that it won't repeat?
This isn't just a one house each issue.

While the central theme is the household (parent to child), there's also the communal (other parents, other children)...


But yeah.
I get the idea -- of loving a hypothetical person -- or what one sees as as potential 'life' so much, that because actualized 'life' is so tainted, you'd rather not want them exist in life. So no curses would be passed onto, no BS to perpetuate onto...

It may or may not be as messed up as loving someone so much, you'd rather want their lives cut short and die quickly so they'd be free.
But that's an entirely different (and completely unequal) concept that is more or less just as messed up (depending on one's priorities), only with more severe and real consequences.


I won't be surprised if this topic boomed, and the topic circles to 'reasons to conceive and have children are inherently selfish' to 'anything related to suffering and inequality', or something that ranges from 'solving overpopulation' to 'eugenics'.


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Last edited by Edna3362 on 20 Feb 2023, 6:53 am, edited 1 time in total.

Twilightprincess
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20 Feb 2023, 7:32 am

The culture I was a part of encouraged people not to have children. It was viewed as a positive thing, so I never experienced pressure. I wanted a kid and had one. If I didn’t want one, I wouldn’t have had one.


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IsabellaLinton
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20 Feb 2023, 8:16 am

I've never noticed a pressure for women to have children.
Not for myself, my daughter, or the women I've known at school and work.
Maybe it's cultural.
Maybe it's because I view things through an ND lens.

I don't think there's a pressure for men to have children either.


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DuckHairback
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20 Feb 2023, 8:28 am

I think, for some people, the idea that their brain's aren't sovereign is absolutely unacceptable.

The possibility that their thoughts might be influenced by outside factors, hormones for example, is an outright affront on their intelligence.

I've known women, my partner not least, who absolutely, definitely didn't want children. Until the day they do. But I've also know women who have never heard their biological clock ticking and don't have children.

I couldn't care less what people do, but I do think it's a mistake not to acknowledge that our thoughts are subject to influence from all sorts of factors, hormones just being one of them, and that those factors are fluid.

Think and feel whatever you want in the moment, but be open to change if it comes.


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IsabellaLinton
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20 Feb 2023, 8:33 am

I agree that some women report feeling pressured.
I just didn't notice those pressures happening, apart from baby product marketing.

Maybe I was immune to it because I live in my own little bubble (in my head.)
I pay no heed to gender conditioning, and my parents never pushed me.

I wanted children but it always felt like it had been my own choice.


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20 Feb 2023, 8:37 am

I think that people could feel a lot of pressure in certain religious communities - like those that are against birth control or those which encourage the culture of a big family.

My church was the opposite, actually. If you had a large family, you weren’t setting your sights on more important pursuits, such as preaching.


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Edna3362
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20 Feb 2023, 8:48 am

I came from a different culture, but is nonetheless religious and family centered.


I don't get pressured into getting children.

Nor am convinced about this getting children hype -- where one should have children so one doesn't live old age alone and die alone.
Like some sort of investment from where I came from, which is the norm. Or, related to my previous post -- getting out of poverty, or for the sake of playing roles.

I get prodded into getting a boyfriend. :roll: And are surprised that I never had any crush, let alone a boyfriend.

It's predictable, really. Get a boyfriend. Get married. Have kids.
I basically just nipped the bud so to speak in my own case. :lol:


Never felt pressured because I don't mask hard enough to pass for an NT.

They're only likely able to accept this from me probably because I'm not 'normal' :roll: despite being the eldest child.
They accept the very concept that I'm not like them -- therefore their rules don't apply or compare to mine. Well, I'll take it. :twisted:


Or perhaps I am just seeing it through an ND lens as well.

I never felt pressure. Immune -- too asocial in my case.


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Pepe
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21 Feb 2023, 3:18 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
Pepe wrote:
Mountain Goat wrote:
I don't see it as a problem. All she has to do is stay single or find a partner who does not want children.


That is rather rare.
Also, did you watch the video that talks about social pressure to have children?


All I see are blank square gaps. I can't see any of these youtube things like I did with the last tablet.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_xXC37CDSw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zd5IFn27R0s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6astnz_qvYM


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"A stranger is a friend gang-stalker you haven't met yet."
Truth may be inconvenient but it is never politically incorrect...The Oracle of Truth has spoken...8)
Glory to Ukraine.