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ToughDiamond
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04 Mar 2023, 12:00 am

I think you'll heal in time. Awful thing to happen though.



skibum
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04 Mar 2023, 12:20 am

I don't know who the admins are but I need this thread locked. I'm sorry.


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skibum
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04 Mar 2023, 12:21 am

ToughDiamond wrote:
I think you'll heal in time. Awful thing to happen though.

Thank you so much :heart:


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IsabellaLinton
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04 Mar 2023, 12:52 am

skibum wrote:
SharonB wrote:
It is annoying to me that "reasonable" behavior is bully behavior to someone sensitive like me. It's like I have the emotional equivalent of osteoporosis (bones that break easily) and folks are like "stop being so sensitive". Ummm, that's not going to help the person with osteoporosis. Finally after 25 years I can say to my husband "please, don't yell" and his reply is not "I'm not yelling". dB and tone thressholds to me, dB and tone thresshold to him... yadda, yadda, yadda. I know you are talking about something far more than this, but it's something as basic as that and expanding exponentially outward. Sorry for the hard hardship.
I completely understand what you mean. I also struggle in a similar way. I have a particular sensitivity that causes me to experience emotional things too strongly. I don't associate my specific issue as meaning that the other person is bullying me, I just know that my brain's response is not typical because of the issue that I have. But the impact on my psychological, emotional, and mental states are the same even if, in those situations, the person is not actually bullying. So it does make it challenging.

And when the person is actively bullying, because of my issue, the consequences to me are much worse. But I can relate to what you are saying and I really feel for you. It is a challenging road. :heart:


skibum,

Yes you were bullied, harassed and threatened.
No you are not overreacting.
Repeat after me.
What happened was not your fault.


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skibum
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04 Mar 2023, 1:22 am

IsabellaLinton wrote:
skibum wrote:
SharonB wrote:
It is annoying to me that "reasonable" behavior is bully behavior to someone sensitive like me. It's like I have the emotional equivalent of osteoporosis (bones that break easily) and folks are like "stop being so sensitive". Ummm, that's not going to help the person with osteoporosis. Finally after 25 years I can say to my husband "please, don't yell" and his reply is not "I'm not yelling". dB and tone thressholds to me, dB and tone thresshold to him... yadda, yadda, yadda. I know you are talking about something far more than this, but it's something as basic as that and expanding exponentially outward. Sorry for the hard hardship.
I completely understand what you mean. I also struggle in a similar way. I have a particular sensitivity that causes me to experience emotional things too strongly. I don't associate my specific issue as meaning that the other person is bullying me, I just know that my brain's response is not typical because of the issue that I have. But the impact on my psychological, emotional, and mental states are the same even if, in those situations, the person is not actually bullying. So it does make it challenging.

And when the person is actively bullying, because of my issue, the consequences to me are much worse. But I can relate to what you are saying and I really feel for you. It is a challenging road. :heart:


skibum,

Yes you were bullied, harassed and threatened.
No you are not overreacting.
Repeat after me.
What happened was not your fault.

Thank you my dear friend :heart:


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Wreck It Ralph


bee33
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04 Mar 2023, 2:07 am

Would it be possible to soothe the 4 year old in you in the way that four year olds are soothed? Curl up under a blanket, watch something you like, that you find calming, enjoy treats (like the chocolate suggested above), or tea, hot chocolate. Hug your stuffed toys, wear a comfy pair of jammies. Maybe practice some affirmations.

I know I feel l can't get out of the suffering I'm experiencing (perhaps wrongly), and maybe you can't, but can you try not to think ahead to how it will continue to be bad and just make yourself as comfortable and safe as you can now?



skibum
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04 Mar 2023, 7:58 am

bee33 wrote:
Would it be possible to soothe the 4 year old in you in the way that four year olds are soothed? Curl up under a blanket, watch something you like, that you find calming, enjoy treats (like the chocolate suggested above), or tea, hot chocolate. Hug your stuffed toys, wear a comfy pair of jammies. Maybe practice some affirmations.

I know I feel l can't get out of the suffering I'm experiencing (perhaps wrongly), and maybe you can't, but can you try not to think ahead to how it will continue to be bad and just make yourself as comfortable and safe as you can now?
Thank you so much Bee3. :heart:
My four year old part of me is an actual four year old. So, yes, the things that soothe an actual four year old are always very helpful.

As far as thinking ahead, I always do because it's necessary. If I don't, then getting blind sided becomes life-threatening. So I always have to analyze and predict worse case scenarios so that I do not get caught 100% by surprise. That is the only way that I can physically survive them. So, the decision has to be to choose which trauma is better and usually it has to be the survivable one. So, my brain has learned to use that as a survival strategy. It's a tough situation but it is necessary in order to stay alive.


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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."

Wreck It Ralph