My parents were out of town for the weekend. Right after they left, I raided my dads snack drawer where he kept a bunch of stuff… chips, crackers, but most importantly, chocolate. I saw a bag of fancy Ghirardelli lookin chocolate that was already open… so I ate one chocolate and was satisfied. It tasted pretty good. There was a funny aftertaste, so I went and got water. After I had some water, I thought, damn! Other than that aftertaste, that chocolate tasted really good, I should have another. So I had Another. And another. (Each were individually wrapped btw.) I started getting a funny feeling but payed it no mind, so I had a fourth chocolate.
After eating the fourth chocolate, my memory stops. I truly have no memory of what I did that night, or when I went to bed. I definitely remember waking up though.
First of all, I woke up in a camping tent, pitched in my basement. I didn’t even know we had a camping tent but somehow I set it up in the basement and fell asleep in it. Secondly, I felt absolutely horrible, like I’d been hit by a truck, but at the same time, I was the truck. People who have been high before will know what I mean.
After I sat there for a few minutes, my neighbor (who’s my age) called me on the phone and asked me if I was ok. I said yes. Him: are ur parents home? Me: No Him: did you go out last night? Me: no (I genuinely couldn’t remember so I said no) Him: are you sure? Me: yes Him: (in perfect seriousness) then why the f**k is your minivan parked on the front lawn?
(…)
Me: Huuuuuuh?
I got out of the tent and walked up the stairs, figuring this was some kind of stupid joke. I didn’t even have a license, AND I hadn’t taken drivers ed. But when I looked out the window, There, in all its glory, was our minivan parked in the center of our lawn outside of our house.
At this point, I knew something was wrong because I couldn’t remember anything. Also, my parents definitely couldn’t have done that. (They were still out of town and I could see their location on a tracking app.) I had a headache, so I went into the kitchen to get some Ibuprofen. But as I walked into the kitchen, I saw groceries. Not just any groceries though, 2 quarts of ice cream, and the exact ingredients needed for me to bake my special brownies (they have a secret ingredient that only I know of. And no, they’re not weed brownies). Nobody else would have gotten this extra ingredient, so I was positive that it was me. Just as I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I heard a licking noise. I look around the cabinet, and I see that the ice cream was all melted, and it dripped out onto the floor… and there was a random dog lapping it up. No Idea whose dog that was.
I then went upstairs to see what was in those chocolates, because I thought I might have gotten food poisoning or something. First, I saw 7 wrappers on the ground. I then noticed the warning sign on the bottom that said “this is a cannabis product.” I also looked at the serving size, and apparently it was 50 MG per serving, and each chocolate was two servings. My first time high and I had 14 times the recommended dose. Moral of the story: check the f*****g label before you eat your family’s special chocolates..
TLDR: I got super high when my parents were out of town, drove a car without a license to a grocery store, went shopping, came home and parked the car on the lawn. Also somewhere along the journey, I got a dog.
03 Mar 2023, 4:20 pm
