Dr. Phil Special: Parents' Ultimate Test Dealing with Autism

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LiendaBalla
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26 Dec 2007, 11:35 am

crackbot4000 wrote:

I'm autistic and when I was a kid I was disciplined in the following ways:

yelled at -.. I focused on that instead of what I did wrong so it didn't help at all..

arguing - told what's wrong with you?, and stuff like that. didn't help, made me feel rejected and didn't teach me anything

spanking - immediate and quick, I knew what I did wrong and I had some pain to help me remember then I was able to get on with my life.


Same here. Me and my sister weren't spanked very often because we weren't bad often to begin with. A couple times that I got it, it didn't teach me much of anything, really, but that's just me. I still agree with you. The words hurt alot that I'm doing plenty of selfharm these days. Usualy when parents actauly beat kids, it IS out of anger, and they even add cruel words while they do it.



thyme
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26 Dec 2007, 11:45 am

I notice allot of stupid people watch the Dr. Phil show.


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26 Dec 2007, 12:21 pm

thyme wrote:
I notice allot of stupid people watch the Dr. Phil show.

the dr phil show is "extreme intelligence" compared to Jeremy Kyle show.


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tweety_fan
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26 Dec 2007, 9:48 pm

me thinks "dr" phil is an ass to, i have heard that divorce is caused by financial problems a lot. it is not fair to blame divorce on the kids especially autistic ones.
as for that kid me thinks he has other problems, this could be one of those times where a case of a child with serious problems is turned into a circus to frighten people and demonise autistic peoples.



Kitsy
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26 Dec 2007, 11:19 pm

I went to Dr. Phil's site and found the "early warning signs" which Oprah's site is similar in that respect:

Dr. Phil's early warning signs:

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/545

No big smiles or joyful expressions by 6 months.
“If your child has hit 6 months and you're not seeing these things, then that indicates to you that they're not engaging, they're not plugging in.”
No back and forth interaction by 9 months.
No babbling by 12 months.
No words by 16 months.
“Again, that tells you they're not communicating, they're not engaging.”
No 2-word phrases by 24-months.
And if you see any regression of language or social sills at any age -- Like they were up to a certain level of functioning and then they went down, those are warning signs, and you need to go to a professional at that point.



For more warning signs of autism, please visit:

Autism Society of America
AutismSpeaks.org
Special Needs Network






Then on Oprah's website, the early warning signs are on this page.

http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200 ... 05_c.jhtml

* No babbling by 12 months
* Unresponsive to his/her own name by 12 months
* No pointing or other back-and-forth gestures by 12 months
* No single words by 16 months
* No two-word spontaneous phrases by 24 months
* Any loss of language or acquired skills
* Trouble socializing with other children


If you suspect that your child may be autistic, contact your pediatrician.



Then other resources including Autism Speaks are on this page


http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200 ... 05_b.jhtml

Millions of families around the world are affected by autism. Find out more about the disease, learn how to cope and meet other people living with autism through these organizations:

Autism Speaks
www.autismspeaks.org
National Autism Association
www.nationalautismassociation.org
The Help Group
www.thehelpgroup.org


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alex
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27 Dec 2007, 8:44 am

they should provide a link to Wrong Planet. It really annoys me that organizations like Autism Speaks have so much money that they can pay for publicists to get them undeserved attention. :x


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MrMark
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27 Dec 2007, 9:03 am

alex wrote:
they should provide a link to Wrong Planet. It really annoys me that organizations like Autism Speaks have so much money that they can pay for publicists to get them undeserved attention. :x

Have you contacted these sites to ask for this?


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27 Dec 2007, 3:32 pm

crackbot4000 wrote:
Quote:
"My mom is dead. I'm going to eat her carcass."


I'd say it's a combination of autism and poor parenting (not blaming her - she just needs more help dealing with a challenging kid). I'm autistic and I said stuff like that when I was around his age. I didn't actually mean it and I doubt this kid means it either. I didn't have any friends or know how to communicate very well. I said stuff like he did to scare my mom when I was unhappy either because I didn't get something I wanted or because I felt mom didn't care about me. I was able to talk like that without thinking about what I was saying. I don't think this kid is psychotic or crazy and I think it would be cruel to treat him like he's crazy. That would just make things worse and make him fell more unloved, rejected, not understood.

Things mom definitely should NOT do: Yelling - he may think mom hates him or doesn't like him or he may act crazy from getting a headache due to being oversensitive to sound. Time outs alone - he may feel rejected like mom doesn't want to be around him

I think his mom should show her love by talking to him and ask him in an appropriate way why he said those things. She shouldn't ask him like she thinks he's crazy. Instead, she should be like I understand you are not happy about something and ask him why and what she can do to help him. She should teach him feelings and help him communicate and express himself.

If it was my kid, I'd spank him (or some other punishment) to let him know it's unacceptable to talk like he did, then sit and try to understand how he's feeling, help him feel better, and then teach him how to express himself in the future.

Also, the kid's father should work less if he's able to and spend more time with his son and to help his kid's mom.

That's what would have worked best when I was like the kid but I know everyone is different. They had a Supernanny or Nanny 911 show with an autistic kid and she did a good job. So maybe calling one of the nanny experts or getting advice would help especially if the father isn't able to work less hours. Well that's my thoughts.


My son will say some outrageous stuff too and he means none of it. Language was not important to him in the beginning and it's not his favorite thing now. I homeschool him now, but in kindergarten he would make random comments about wanting to blow up the school. Of course, the school people thought he was crazy. If you take the words at face value, he seemed aggressive, almost violent..but he's not at all.

I know him. He's very sensitive and kind....but, not so good at controlling his mouth. It takes a consistent effort on my part to teach him self-control. He's made progress and I'm sure he'll get there one day. I just really resent when people judge a kid by their words alone. You have to look at the whole picture, especially if autistic traits are present.



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27 Dec 2007, 4:38 pm

alex wrote:
they should provide a link to Wrong Planet. It really annoys me that organizations like Autism Speaks have so much money that they can pay for publicists to get them undeserved attention. :x


I'm wondering how they get on these talk shows?

Now it all makes sense why the only early warning signs revolved around not speaking and eye contact.

They fail to mention sensory issues that upset the child but only mention things that upset the parents!


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Kitsy
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27 Dec 2007, 4:40 pm

Tortuga wrote:
crackbot4000 wrote:
Quote:
"My mom is dead. I'm going to eat her carcass."


I'd say it's a combination of autism and poor parenting (not blaming her - she just needs more help dealing with a challenging kid). I'm autistic and I said stuff like that when I was around his age. I didn't actually mean it and I doubt this kid means it either. I didn't have any friends or know how to communicate very well. I said stuff like he did to scare my mom when I was unhappy either because I didn't get something I wanted or because I felt mom didn't care about me. I was able to talk like that without thinking about what I was saying. I don't think this kid is psychotic or crazy and I think it would be cruel to treat him like he's crazy. That would just make things worse and make him fell more unloved, rejected, not understood.

Things mom definitely should NOT do: Yelling - he may think mom hates him or doesn't like him or he may act crazy from getting a headache due to being oversensitive to sound. Time outs alone - he may feel rejected like mom doesn't want to be around him

I think his mom should show her love by talking to him and ask him in an appropriate way why he said those things. She shouldn't ask him like she thinks he's crazy. Instead, she should be like I understand you are not happy about something and ask him why and what she can do to help him. She should teach him feelings and help him communicate and express himself.

If it was my kid, I'd spank him (or some other punishment) to let him know it's unacceptable to talk like he did, then sit and try to understand how he's feeling, help him feel better, and then teach him how to express himself in the future.

Also, the kid's father should work less if he's able to and spend more time with his son and to help his kid's mom.

That's what would have worked best when I was like the kid but I know everyone is different. They had a Supernanny or Nanny 911 show with an autistic kid and she did a good job. So maybe calling one of the nanny experts or getting advice would help especially if the father isn't able to work less hours. Well that's my thoughts.


My son will say some outrageous stuff too and he means none of it. Language was not important to him in the beginning and it's not his favorite thing now. I homeschool him now, but in kindergarten he would make random comments about wanting to blow up the school. Of course, the school people thought he was crazy. If you take the words at face value, he seemed aggressive, almost violent..but he's not at all.

I know him. He's very sensitive and kind....but, not so good at controlling his mouth. It takes a consistent effort on my part to teach him self-control. He's made progress and I'm sure he'll get there one day. I just really resent when people judge a kid by their words alone. You have to look at the whole picture, especially if autistic traits are present.


That is a very kind unselfish approach. :)


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alex
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27 Dec 2007, 4:56 pm

Kitsy wrote:
alex wrote:
they should provide a link to Wrong Planet. It really annoys me that organizations like Autism Speaks have so much money that they can pay for publicists to get them undeserved attention. :x


I'm wondering how they get on these talk shows?


It's quite simple. The spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on publicity blitzes.


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Kitsy
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27 Dec 2007, 5:00 pm

alex wrote:
Kitsy wrote:
alex wrote:
they should provide a link to Wrong Planet. It really annoys me that organizations like Autism Speaks have so much money that they can pay for publicists to get them undeserved attention. :x


I'm wondering how they get on these talk shows?


It's quite simple. The spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on publicity blitzes.


It's awful. What they are endorsing is awful. It's funny because while I was watching it, the couple I thought there was something cookie cutter Autism Speaks about them.


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