judging women on their looks.

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MR_BOGAN
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25 Jul 2008, 3:32 am

As a male I'm attracted to beautiful women rather than ugly women.

I've only ever been in love twice properly I think with two women and they were really attractive. Thinking about this is completely unfair and I feel bad if I reject someone because I'm not physically attracted to them. Looks doesn't make a person a better person.

Should we as males totally judge women on there looks and see nothing wrong with it? Because you do need physical attraction in a relationship. Superficial I know, but that seems to be the way we are programmed, we will be happier with an attractive partner.

I used to believe you should look for inner beauty, but lately I'm changing my thinking. :chin: Well I do look for inner beauty, no matter how physically attractive a woman is I can't love her if she isn't a nice person.

I'm also trying to accept that if I wear nice clothes, earn heaps of money, become more social, be more successful, look the best I can become the most attractive I can be that it is fair enough a woman will love me for those reasons. :scratch:

Discuss..



nekowafer
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25 Jul 2008, 3:41 am

It's totally fair to judge how a person is as a mate according to looks - the eventual outcome of many(though not all of course) relationships is having children.. it's instinct to choose someone who would be good for the bearing of children, and besides, how will you have sex with someone you're not attracted to?

Remember, also, that your idea of attractiveness is not the same as everyone else's. I've heard many people say that the guys I date are unattractive, even ugly, but I find them attractive and that's the important thing.



MR_BOGAN
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25 Jul 2008, 3:48 am

nekowafer wrote:
Remember, also, that your idea of attractiveness is not the same as everyone else's. I've heard many people say that the guys I date are unattractive, even ugly, but I find them attractive and that's the important thing.


I'm curious on that, attractiveness for a woman I think is more masculine guys and so looks are not as important if he is bigger.

Do you find bigger, taller, stronger guys more physically attractive?



nekowafer
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25 Jul 2008, 3:59 am

I always think that I want that guy that's bigger than me, taller, more masculine.. but that's not always what I find. Also, being a big girl, it's harder to find guys that are bigger than me.

So while my current boyfriend is actually taller than me(I'm 5'8", he's 6'), he weighs a whole lot less and wears much smaller clothing.. we do wear almost the same shoe size though!

My last boyfriend was 2 inches shorter than me, weighed about the same, and had very little physical strength.. Oh, and the current boy is stronger than me, and can push me over(in terms of play fighting, nothing bad!!), but isn't really all that strong compared to similar guys his age.

They both had features I always look for.. pretty eyes and a nice ass!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I can't just choose one type of guy! I don't think anyone can, and still be really true to themselves.. the personality is too important. The attraction HAS to be there but if a man is cute and mean, the cuteness fades, you know?



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25 Jul 2008, 4:52 am

MR_BOGAN wrote:
I've only ever been in love twice properly I think with two women and they were really attractive. Thinking about this is completely unfair and I feel bad if I reject someone because I'm not physically attracted to them.


Stop being so hard on yourself! I can assure you that women are just the same. Apart from they don't feel bad about rejecting a man as that is they way it works. Many women would be livid if you rejected them in favour of another who was not as gorgeous as she considers herself.

MR_BOGAN wrote:
Should we as males totally judge women on there looks and see nothing wrong with it?

Depends on the woman. Womens obsession with their looks is a spectrum. At one extreme, you have those whose looks are everything to them. I guess with these you have little choice as it's what they work towards and TBH you're not going to get a stimulating intelligent conversation with them. (BTW I don't mean actual looks, I mean time spent self obsessing about appearance.) At the other end of the spectrum, there are intelligent women who don't have such a shallow outlook. Luckily we have plenty of those on WP!

MR_BOGAN wrote:
Discuss..

My pleasure!


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ManErg
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25 Jul 2008, 4:56 am

nekowafer wrote:
the eventual outcome of many(though not all of course) relationships is having children.


I disagree. Children are the outcome of the minority of relationships and a ridiculously tiny percentage of sex acts. The aim of the vast, vast majority of this behaviour is simply instant pleasure, not children.


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slowmutant
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25 Jul 2008, 9:38 am

On the Womens' Forum, I was participating (or so I thought) in a very similar discussion. I was caught being obnoxious and was asked to leave by one of the female members. I left, not realizing I'd been posting in the Women's Forum. Turned out I was arguing the inconvenience of beauty (?) with a bunch of females. Sorry about that!



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25 Jul 2008, 9:44 am

If every sex-act resulted in a baby, the human race and the planet would self-destruct at lightning speed. Maybe recreational sex deserves is actually the way to go. There are too many human beings as it is now. 8O



No_YOU_get_over_it
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25 Jul 2008, 9:54 am

MR_BOGAN wrote:
As a male I'm attracted to beautiful women rather than ugly women.


News flash: same goes for lesbians, for straight women, for gay men and for everything in between. It's easier to interact w/ people who're easier to look at.

"Beautiful" can mean a lot of things; for sake of this discussion I'm going with "aesthetically pleasing," which isn't necessarily the same as what fashion or the media defines as attractive.


MR_BOGAN wrote:
I've only ever been in love twice properly I think with two women and they were really attractive.


Haven't ever been in love, but I find nothing odd about you falling in love w/ very attractive women.


MR_BOGAN wrote:
Thinking about this is completely unfair and I feel bad if I reject someone because I'm not physically attracted to them.


What's unfair?

Are you refusing women the right to not fall in love w/ you because you don't float their boats?

How fair would it be to yourself and to the woman if you chose to spend your life with someone whose mind you adored but whose body repulsed you?

Would it be more "fair" to reject a model b/c her IQ was half yours? Raw intelligence is just as genetically determined as is physical appearance, and there are similar ranges of options and resources for enhancing both of those factors.


MR_BOGAN wrote:
Looks doesn't make a person a better person.


To a large degree, looks (what one does with them) do reflect a person's values, communicate priorities etc.


MR_BOGAN wrote:
Should we as males totally judge women


Is there a different standard for judging for men than for women?



MR_BOGAN wrote:
totally judge women on there looks and see nothing wrong with it?


Are you looking for carte blanche here? Sounds like you're looking for all-or-nothing license, which surprises me b/c you sound like a guy who sees shades of grey in a lot of other areas.



MR_BOGAN wrote:
I'm also trying to accept that if I wear nice clothes, earn heaps of money, become more social, be more successful, look the best I can become the most attractive I can be that it is fair enough a woman will love me for those reasons. :scratch:


Will she love you for these reasons, or will these things make it easier to see through to the real you?


I don't have any answers here, really I've got more questions in this area in my own life. There aren't many men I find immediately attractive on a superficial level. Women do tick differently ... but should we really expect ourselves to disregard our baser instincts when making a choice this important? I did once, and I now think that these "baser" instincts aren't base at all, but pick up information essential to successful pairing.


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MishLuvsHer2Boys
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25 Jul 2008, 1:15 pm

I can't stand people that judge others by looks, looks fade and so does physical attraction. If you rely on that and all, what is there left for you to like when it's gone when that is what you only judged primarily upon? I think honestly it's ignorant to do that. The most beautiful person overall could very well be the one whose beauty one will miss because they are too stuck on looks instead of the person's mind and personality. If a man was to ever judge me based on looks and I found out again. I'd kick him in the nuts for being stupid. That's just me.



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25 Jul 2008, 1:24 pm

slowmutant wrote:
On the Womens' Forum, I was participating (or so I thought) in a very similar discussion. I was caught being obnoxious and was asked to leave by one of the female members. I left, not realizing I'd been posting in the Women's Forum. Turned out I was arguing the inconvenience of beauty (?) with a bunch of females. Sorry about that!


That's not what it was about. The title wasn't the prime point. At least two of us said this. Touching without permision, stalking and so forth, just because the victim looks good to them was the point of discussion. You said that one OP was whineing.. and that is why you were asked to go.

Anyway, back to this topic. by all means, don't let me hyjack this...



crackedpleasures
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25 Jul 2008, 1:57 pm

To feel attracted more easily to good looking people is normal, but from my experience whenever I really like a girl I will find her attractive anyway (you suddenly notice little things you didn't see before, like how cute she smiles or the look in her eyes, ...) so in a way personality always is more important. Not only because that is the very fundament of the relationship, but also because once you like someone you will find him/her attractive anyway unless in very exceptional cases. I always look for a girl that is a soulmate at the same time and where I feel we understand each other in a very deep way. Once I got that feeling, I will usually feel physical attraction just as well.


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25 Jul 2008, 2:35 pm

MR_BOGAN wrote:
Should we as males totally judge women on there looks and see nothing wrong with it?

Yes. Absolutely.

If a woman is healthy, earns a liveable wage, and is reasonably well educated, then she is more likely to also take care of herself and her appearance.

No, I'm not talking about those silicone-enhanced Barbies wearing the latest fashions and driving Bentleys. I'm talking about ordinary good looks - the kind that seems natural and is based on health, low stress, and inner confidence.

Not that a bodacious rack is all that bad ... :wink:


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catspurr
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25 Jul 2008, 2:42 pm

Males should be very happy that they aren't always judged on looks as much as women are.



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25 Jul 2008, 2:50 pm

catspurr wrote:
Males should be very happy that they aren't always judged on looks as much as women are.

We could be very happy, if we weren't judged instead on our ability to earn and our willingness to spend.


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25 Jul 2008, 3:03 pm

I don't judge women by their appearance. Outer beauty is only skin deep. I do recognize that some are more attractive than others but I also seem to have different ideas of what's attractive than most people in my family or in my town. My step-brother's girl friend for instance. Everyone says she isn't all that attractive, even her boyfriend says that about her, but I think she is. They say she is too "plain" looking. I think what they consider attractive is what Hollywood calls attractive. :evil:


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