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Shai-hulud
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14 Aug 2008, 10:34 pm

Have you ever been with a friend that you hadn't seen for a few weeks, and felt as though he or she didn't actually exist?



Fnord
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14 Aug 2008, 10:38 pm

Shai-hulud wrote:
Have you ever been with a friend that you hadn't seen for a few weeks, and felt as though he or she didn't actually exist?

No ... I have normal feelings regarding my friends.


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donkey
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15 Aug 2008, 5:09 am

this is a common observation amongst AS.
people are treated as objects and not, real people.
so friends and relatives are considered "unreal" and like an object there are few attatchments made, attempted or even considred.


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MrMark
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15 Aug 2008, 6:00 am

No, but I don't have many friends.


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Kate_Austen
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15 Aug 2008, 12:39 pm

I feel that way all the time.
It doesn't have to be weeks either. It can just be a day or two.



Aurore
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16 Aug 2008, 12:21 am

donkey wrote:
this is a common observation amongst AS.
people are treated as objects and not, real people.
so friends and relatives are considered "unreal" and like an object there are few attatchments made, attempted or even considred.


Weird, I never felt this way about my friends.
But I am unusually attached to objects.


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donkey
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16 Aug 2008, 3:23 am

with regard to making attatchments, yes i should have explained it better.
people with AS tend to treat people as objects, and not people with feelings, they can also have strong atttatchments to objects.
there is, as always with AS a difficulty with modulating the attatchment to what is approproate for the situation. the last poster is right to point this out, apologies for the confusion.


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LolaGranola
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18 Aug 2008, 11:34 am

Shai-hulud wrote:
Have you ever been with a friend that you hadn't seen for a few weeks, and felt as though he or she didn't actually exist?


I'm not sure I completely understand this question, as in feeling that he/she didn't exist.


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Chojiro
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18 Aug 2008, 3:55 pm

Shai-hulud wrote:
Have you ever been with a friend that you hadn't seen for a few weeks, and felt as though he or she didn't actually exist?

I feel this way about some people on the internet, although I'm not sure whether it's just my morals and logic in play or delusion (although it's sort of a different situation).


donkey wrote:
this is a common observation amongst AS.
people are treated as objects and not, real people.
so friends and relatives are considered "unreal"

I personally treat people as people. Although I'm diagnosed with aspergers I find it hard to understand this myself.



Shai-hulud
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18 Aug 2008, 6:33 pm

LolaGranola wrote:
Shai-hulud wrote:
Have you ever been with a friend that you hadn't seen for a few weeks, and felt as though he or she didn't actually exist?


I'm not sure I completely understand this question, as in feeling that he/she didn't exist.
I don't know how to explain the feeling, really. It's like you look at the person, and talk to the person and perhaps even touch the person, and this person responds in any way a real person would respond, but you still have a difficult time convincing yourself that this person has existence beyond your own mind.



princesseli
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23 Aug 2008, 7:09 pm

People whom I actually consider friends I value so no but acquintances and most family members yeah. If I dont see them, its almost like they dont exist. I will easily forget about most acquintances, like if there not there I wont notice. I seriously lack attachment to my family members, they're equivalent to that person down the hallway that I never/rarely talk to except their blood related.



TheSpecialKid
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03 Sep 2008, 11:34 am

As younger, I sometimes thought that all other people in the world was robots :P
Kinda silly, I know ... But still, sometimes I really belived it.
So yes I do somehow understand you.



pbcoll
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03 Sep 2008, 1:54 pm

In my case, it's not that the person seems unreal, it's the friendship that seems unreal. It was not always that way, but the following happened repeatedly:

1. One of us moved, changed schools, classes, whatever, etc.
2. He did not lift a finger to keep in touch or anything - from day 1.
3. I made some effort to stay in touch, but it was always me initiating contact
4. The friendship died.

Alternatively, neither one made any effort to stay in touch. Eventually I switched form thinking of friendship as something valuable and meaningful to the Kleenex box view - friendship doesn't last, is not worth getting emotionally involved in, etc; enjoy it while it lasts, but in the end it's disposable.


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finrod
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06 Sep 2008, 2:43 am

I don't understand how you can think someone standing next to you isn't in existence



TheSpecialKid
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06 Sep 2008, 2:47 pm

Well, finrod...

That's actually pretty simple. How do you know, that you even exist, that life isn't just an illusion.
See, you can't really be sure, and you don't know if the whole world, is just an imagination going on in your head....

I don't believe it's that way. But I think that it could be possible.



physicsteen
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06 Sep 2008, 7:09 pm

This could be that you are becoming aware of "Theory of Mind", which is an idea many on the autistic spectrum don't grasp. Theory of Mind is the idea of different forms of thinking outside your own.

I would look up "Theory of Mind & Aspergers" in Google. Don't worry, I feel that way too when I visit my mom twice a month.