Page 1 of 2 [ 20 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

astaroth666
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 5

04 Feb 2009, 6:52 pm

OK, say you arrive to the gym and two people are talking about something. Do you interrupt them to say hi?

I thought it was not polite to do that, but it seems that not greeting people is even worse.



ngonz
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 15 Dec 2007
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 249
Location: Upper Midwest

04 Feb 2009, 7:15 pm

I hate interrupting people. There are times when I have to or should interrupt a conversation to speak to someone at work, but I just hang around on the periphery, waiting for them to finish their conversation, hoping I don't look like I'm trying to listen in. I really feel like a dork and I think my discomfort must be very obvious. Sometimes it's kind of an emergency or I am strapped for time and really NEED to speak to that person ASAP, but that is one of the social things I just haven't learned how to do yet.


_________________
"...gypsy lost in the twilight zone..."

www.neurointegrity.com


pensieve
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,204
Location: Sydney, Australia

04 Feb 2009, 7:21 pm

If it feels good do it.



04 Feb 2009, 9:33 pm

astaroth666 wrote:
OK, say you arrive to the gym and two people are talking about something. Do you interrupt them to say hi?

I thought it was not polite to do that, but it seems that not greeting people is even worse.



No I don't do that.



xee25
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2009
Age: 67
Gender: Male
Posts: 3

04 Feb 2009, 9:49 pm

I finally got it that people are ignoring you on purpose sometimes. They try to pretend they don't know you are there so that you will shut down. Little do they know that will not work with us. when it's happening I practically start waving my arms to get attention, and wonder why they aren't seeing me. I never figure out the whole subtle thing they were doing until a day or so later. I think doing the subtle ithing is strange.I would rather have someone say I DON"T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. Quite a bit less offensive to be direct I think.
Is this an Aspie thing? I am not sure if I am diagnosable. I am more socially than physically clumsy. In fact I am athletic. Fine motor skills an issue though. My fingers get mixed up when I try to differentiate movement It's hard to move only one finger. They feel bunched up near the knuckles. :oops:



BokeKaeru
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2008
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 535
Location: Boston, MA

05 Feb 2009, 1:07 am

I'll say hello if I know either one of them. If there's something about them that interests me, I'll wait till they're done talking and then say hello. Otherwise, it's none of my business to butt in.

I always find it incredibly awkward at first to be approached by someone I don't know, whether in or out of company. Granted, usually I'm much the happier for it once they actually make their intentions clear and are friendly, but still it's not an ingrained thing in me just yet that people talk to others out of the blue without a reason.



Probable_Cause
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 3 Feb 2009
Gender: Male
Posts: 4

05 Feb 2009, 1:13 am

"Is it ok to interrupt people?"


No.



Aurore
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Dec 2007
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,187
Location: Virginia Tech

05 Feb 2009, 2:29 am

You might be able to get around the predicament by just waving. I do that sometimes.


_________________
?Evil? No. Cursed?! No. COATED IN CHOCOLATE?! Perhaps. At one time. But NO LONGER.?


jawbrodt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jan 2008
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,766
Location: Eastern USA

05 Feb 2009, 2:36 am

^That's a good idea. Get their attention first(wave,etc...), then they will be expecting you to say "hi". If they ignore you, then don't bother. :)



It also depends on how well you know these people.


_________________
Those who speak, don't know.

Those who know, don't speak.


Eggman
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,676

05 Feb 2009, 3:20 am

if its to yell out fire...yes


_________________
Pwning the threads with my mad 1337 skillz.


TheDoctor82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,400
Location: Sandusky, Ohio

05 Feb 2009, 3:52 am

I usually don't.



jelibean
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 548
Location: United Kingdom/www.jelibean.com

05 Feb 2009, 4:11 am

Eggman wrote:
if its to yell out fire...yes



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:



lyricalillusions
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Jan 2009
Age: 39
Gender: Female
Posts: 651
Location: United States

05 Feb 2009, 4:29 am

If you know the two people who are talking to each other, then I think it should be okay. If not, then no.


_________________
?Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.? _Theodor Seuss Geisel (Dr. Seuss)


ToughDiamond
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Sep 2008
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,130

05 Feb 2009, 6:12 am

I don't think it would matter much - if you say hello to them, they might be really nice and say hello back, or they might ignore you or not notice, but for them it would probably be no big thing.

Once I was in that situation and the guy I said hello to didn't reply, which I found quite embarrassing at the time (I was 16), but then when he'd finished talking to my father he said hello back. Better late than never. 8)

These days I'd probably still say hello but in a less pronounced way so it wouldn't show up so starkly if I were ignored, and couldn't be seen as an aggressive attempt to interrupt them. You have to allow for people being too locked into their existing dialogue to respond - personally I always feel bad if I get put in such a dilemma, I don't want to ignore anybody but I don't want to stop listening to the other guy either, because I feel that both responses would be rude. It's the same when two people try to talk to me at the same time.

When I was about 14, I recall trying to force my words onto the group of boys I was with - they were already talking, and I simply tried to override their conversation, even ended up knocking one of them on the head (though not terribly hard) just to get his attention, and shouting "RESPOND!!" :oops: :oops: - needless to say they didn't take kindly to that, and began to take a different bus so they wouldn't have to deal with me. :( Luckily I mellowed.

I was brought up NEVER to interrupt my "betters" - hopefully parents aren't quite so elitist these days, but this was the late 1950s when children were expected to obey. To this day I always feel reluctant to approach anybody about anything, which can give me a lot of anxiety in the workplace when I think the consequences of keeping silent may be even worse. An important machine broke down and the only people who could help were engrossed in converstaion - so I had to fight my shyness, waited for the nearest approximation to a pause in their talking, and said "Houston, we have a problem" in a clear but not over-loud voice. It worked. I wish they wouldn't put me in that position, but I don't see how they can avoid it. I've no idea whether it's AS or my poxy upbringing that makes it so hard for me to approach an authority figure - presumably it's both, making it doubly hard for me to be "normal."

Power sometimes comes into it. Some managers will just walk up and cut through any conversation they like, but they don't usually extend the same rights to anybody else. To some extent I guess it's justified - the idea is to get the work done, which is why they pay us. But it can sour things socially, which can reduce productivity, and what managers say isn't often so urgent as to justify cutting in like that.

For some reason I always think of Monty Python and the Holy Grail - the part where Arthur's trying to get help for his holy quest, and the guys on the battlements keep sliding back into a conversation about the flying weight of an albatross. Later on in the film there's a great line for anybody who needs to interrupt but doesn't want to come over as offensive:
"Please, good people, I am in haste!"
I haven't tried that one in real life yet. I suspect some folks would take it as sarcasm. :roll:



kittenmeow
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2008
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 295

05 Feb 2009, 6:50 am

I hear people interrupting each other all the time in the middle of conversation. Not letting each other finish sentences, interrupting. I don't generally say much if around people I don't know or if it's more than one person. Sometimes when i do say something, I get scolded for interrupting yet the whole time the two talking were interrupting and cutting each other off.



AnnePande
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 994
Location: Aarhus, Denmark

05 Feb 2009, 10:05 am

NTs do that all the time. Interrupt to say hi, I mean.

But also to say a lot of other things.

I've always thought it was rude to interrupt, and usually wait until people are finished (or somewhat finished). But I see all the time that other (NT) people interrupt a dialogue that eg. I have with another.
And the other one (NT) then starts a conversation with the interrupting one, and is able to change focus from me to the other one in one second.
And I get confused because, hey, we were having a conversation.....
But that's apparently not rude.....

If the interrupting one starts talking to me, I can't change my focus that fast. But get confused and get like, er, wait a minute, hm, what were we doing / talking about, or something.

I guess that's an Aspie thing, cf. the one-tracked mind.